IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

he chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

he chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#results #surveys #african #country #teenagers #phones #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
The pie chart illustrates the results of
survey
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
 in one African state about the main reasons for using smartphones for pupils from 2016 to 2019.
Overall
, it clearly can be seen that there were two main reasons for using gadgets in
African
Correct your spelling
Africa
show examples
.
Moreover
, digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 and phone calls
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 contribute as much to the other activities. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of the main reason
using
Change preposition
for using
show examples
 smartphones, the percentage of social media
stand
Wrong verb form
stood
show examples
 at 50% in 2016
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down
2
Change preposition
by 2
show examples
% in 2017, and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 next two years in 2019
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
incresead
Correct your spelling
increased
 until the
last
 year at 56%.
Howerver
Correct your spelling
However
, in 2016
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 up 20% and
relatively
Add a missing verb
were relatively
show examples
 stable until 2018, before
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
 down around 1% in 2019. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
others reason
Fix the agreement mistake
other reasons
show examples
, in 2016 digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 accounted for 18%, and in the next two years
go
Verb problem
they went
show examples
 down to 3% and increased
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the final year.
Moreover
, phone calls make up 10% in the first year, and go up in 2017 and 2018 to 11%. But, in 2019 hitting a trough
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go down" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noticeable shift
  • communication preferences
  • considerably declined
  • functionalities
  • reflecting global trends
  • emerging trend
  • educational use of technology
  • diversification
  • traditional communication
  • digital forms of communication
  • instant messaging
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