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Writing Samples
Band 7

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#computers #modems #office #workers #work #home #offices #people
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Without a doubt, society is split into two groups based on various
people
Use synonyms
's mindsets. In
this
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 modern era, the advancement of technology has made life easier for individuals who are working.
However
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, some
people
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 still believe that it is better to
work
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 on-site.
This
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 essay will discuss both of the viewpoints and will give a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
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 with, digital tools play crucial roles in
this
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 generation
such
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 as computers and modem devices. These are the key aspects for any individual who is working from home.
Due to
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 these tools,
people
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 can
work
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 remotely and provide more time for other activities.
For example
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, remote jobs do not require any travelling , so
one
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 can use that additional time to
work
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 on himself and
work
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 on improving his skills and knowledge or doing house chores.
In addition
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, a reduction in commute
also
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 reduces greenhouse gas emissions as workers will not use public transport or cars.
One
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 study from Stanford
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 states that during the year 2022, 70% of workers enjoy working from their homes as they find it beneficial.
On the other hand
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, there are some individuals who still prefer working on-site because they think that the office offers more reliable equipment rather than devices available at home. Employees believe that they can expand their network
while
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 working with
team-mates
Correct your spelling
teammates
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.
Furthermore
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, they will be able to explore more opportunities by staying in contact with others at the office. In conclusion, after analysis of both viewpoints,
one
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 offers flexibility and more time
while
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 the other gives networking and reliability. In my opinion, the former
one
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 is better suited for today's lifestyle. In the future, more
people
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 will opt for remote jobs for sure.
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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content
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. You can incorporate data, studies, or real-world examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
structure
Ensure a smooth transition between ideas to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases.
content
Consider elaborating more on why one option is more beneficial for today's lifestyle in your conclusion, providing a clearer justification for your opinion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, effectively setting up and summarizing the essay's arguments.
content
The essay covers both viewpoints thoroughly and presents a well-rounded argument.
language
The language used is appropriate for an academic essay, with a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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