IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates how many people visited Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after refurbishment
whereas
Linking Words
 the pie charts demonstrate the results of
visitors
Use synonyms
’ satisfaction rates which were asked in surveys throughout the same two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 experienced growth and they became more satisfied after redecoration. Regarding the table, the entire number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to Ashdown Museum saw a notable rise after redecorating, with the rate ending up 92,000 people in a year.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie charts, the percentage of dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 who constituted the highest figure before renewing decreased significantly from 40% to 15%. Both very satisfied and satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 witnessed an increase,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
climbed remarkably by 20%, that of the latter
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place, accounting for 40% after the museum was refurbished. The remaining
visitors
Use synonyms
 who were very disappointed and had no response still comprised the least significance which was
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Replace the word
total
show examples
10
Change preposition
of 10
show examples
%.
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor statistics
  • satisfaction survey
  • seasonal trends
  • demographics
  • benchmarking
  • feedback mechanisms
  • amenities
  • exhibitions
  • customer experience
  • turnaround
  • user engagement
  • footfall
  • improvements
  • disparities
  • perception
  • enhancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: