The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2005.

#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graph illustrates the figure of

people

Use synonyms

who visited the museum in various seasons in

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

In 2005.

Overall

Linking Words

, the rate of

people

Use synonyms

who went to the building in the summer is more than

winter

Change preposition

in winter

show examples

Farthermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, most

people

Use synonyms

visited the place at 12

Use synonyms

. In the summer, it

can

Verb problem

show examples

apparent that the percentage of

people

Use synonyms

who visited the museum upward dramatically to reach approximately 1300

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

at 11 am.

Then

Linking Words

rised

Correct your spelling

raised

rose

rises

continually to arrive

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

highest peak around 1500

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

at 12

Use synonyms

. After it started downward gradually to arrive

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

lowest point which is no visitor went to the place at 18

Use synonyms

. In the winter, it can noted that the rate of

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

who went to the building fluctuated from 1am to 12

Use synonyms

and it arrived

its

Change preposition

at its

show examples

peak

600

Change preposition

of 600

show examples

tourist

Change to a plural noun

tourists

show examples

Then

Linking Words

fall

Wrong verb form

fell

show examples

down significantly to the lowest point which is no more

people

Use synonyms

visited

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

the place and it continued from 15-18

Use synonyms

Submitted by hasnaalbrashdi on Fri Mar 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, pm with synonyms.

▼

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

158 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern days, sports are widely considered to be one of the most popular way to entertain the public. Contests, on a worldwide scale, are constantly organised with this exact purpose. Thus, a fair number of governments began investing capital in order to provide professional athletes with specialised facilities, uttery neglecting the option of doing so for a wider range of population, sparking a debate on the positive and negative consequences of this decision.
4.5
band
The best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much money that person has. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some people say that in order to understand if someone is successful you nead to look at how much money that person has. In spite of their experience, knowledge and mental helth. Sadly many people take this advice anj judge people only based on their welth.
<4
band
In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?
Preference of individuals choosing to live alone is particularly noticeable in urban areas and developed countries. There is seen cultural shift from people prefer solitary living compared to building a family for many reasons. First of all, economic factors. The abiltiy tu spport oneself withough partner are seen empowering and easier compared in a family.
5.5
band
Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?
Nowadays, the internet is more accessible and useful for us to connect with others. This is not only for adults, but many children are also enjoying online socialise without supervison. The principal problem is it can be very addictive and they can easily spent all day in fornt of computer. The possible solution to this is parents shoud limit their time of use, while it is unsupervised. This essay will explain the reasons behind and provide some examples.
<4
band
Many people believe that the increasing gap between rich and poor people has a negative impact on society. What are the reasons for rising inequality and what problems could it cause?
Acording to some people the increasing gap between rich and poor people has a negative impact on the society. The causes of rising inequality is capitalism, because people who are earning a lot becoming more rich and those who do not have any earnings are becoming more poor.

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2005.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much money that person has. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

Many people believe that the increasing gap between rich and poor people has a negative impact on society. What are the reasons for rising inequality and what problems could it cause?