In many countries, women never feel need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #people #security #marriage

In the past,

women

were accustomed to

marry

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marrying

show examples

once they

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

a certain age.

However

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contemporary society, ladies tend to refrain from

marriage

and prefer living by

themseleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

. Many believe the reason behind

this

change

Correct your spelling

show examples

women

being financially independent in the present world.

According to

my perspective

in addition

to the aforementioned fact, there are several reasons behind

this

phenomenon. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on

this

in more detail.

To begin

with, back in the

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

days

Add a comma

days,

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men were breadwinners and

females

were housewives in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ordianry

Correct your spelling

ordinary

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Hence

females

used to solely rely on their husbands for financial support.

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

marriage

was essential for

women

to survive.

However

, with the change of

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

females

choose to pursue higher education and choose a career path.

This

provided financial freedom and an independent lifestyle.

Therefore

marriage

has become an option.

In addition

, to the independent

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

society started valuing equality among men and

women

. Many became feminists. And started to believe that a

women's

Fix the agreement mistake

woman's

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main job is not

upbring

Correct your spelling

raising

children and taking care of a family.

Thus

, emotional freedom and

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

also

became

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important aspects of

life

For instance

, ladies started following their dreams like travelling around the world, exploring new adventures and living a free

life

without any family responsibility.

Moreover

, some

women

cannot

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

taking care of a child with their busy

life styles

Correct your spelling

lifestyles

show examples

and other

life

goals. In conclusion,

females

choose single lives mainly because they can earn money.

In addition

, there are numerous reasons why

women

choose not to marry.

However

this

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

the society to view

marriage

in a different perspective.

Submitted by dip18thilini on Sat Mar 23 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Throughout your essay, address the prompt directly and ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your perspective.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide your reader through your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will help demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, women never feel need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?