In many countries, women never feel need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #people #security #marriage

In the past,

women

were accustomed to

marry

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marrying

show examples

once they

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

a certain age.

However

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contemporary society, ladies tend to refrain from

marriage

and prefer living by

themseleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

. Many believe the reason behind

this

change

Correct your spelling

show examples

women

being financially independent in the present world.

According to

my perspective

in addition

to the aforementioned fact, there are several reasons behind

this

phenomenon. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on

this

in more detail.

To begin

with, back in the

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

days

Add a comma

days,

show examples

men were breadwinners and

females

were housewives in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ordianry

Correct your spelling

ordinary

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Hence

females

used to solely rely on their husbands for financial support.

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

marriage

was essential for

women

to survive.

However

, with the change of

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

females

choose to pursue higher education and choose a career path.

This

provided financial freedom and an independent lifestyle.

Therefore

marriage

has become an option.

In addition

, to the independent

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

society started valuing equality among men and

women

. Many became feminists. And started to believe that a

women's

Fix the agreement mistake

woman's

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main job is not

upbring

Correct your spelling

raising

children and taking care of a family.

Thus

, emotional freedom and

well being

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well-being

show examples

also

became

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important aspects of

life

For instance

, ladies started following their dreams like travelling around the world, exploring new adventures and living a free

life

without any family responsibility.

Moreover

, some

women

cannot

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

taking care of a child with their busy

life styles

Correct your spelling

lifestyles

show examples

and other

life

goals. In conclusion,

females

choose single lives mainly because they can earn money.

In addition

, there are numerous reasons why

women

choose not to marry.

However

this

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

the society to view

marriage

in a different perspective.

Submitted by dip18thilini on Sat Mar 23 2024

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide your reader through your argument more smoothly.

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Incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will help demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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