Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money
onthe
Correct your spelling
on the
protection of wild
animals
because humans have no need for them. I completely disagree with
this
point of view. In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that wild
animals
have no place in the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only for the benefit of humans, and there is nothing special about
this
particular century that means that we suddenly have the right to allow or encourage the extinction of any species.
Furthermore
, there is no compelling reason why we should let
animals
die out. We do not need to exploit or destroy every
last
square metre of land in order to feed or accommodate the world’s population. There is plenty of room for us to exist side by side with wild
animals
, and
this
should be our aim. I
also
disagree with the idea that protecting
animals
is a waste of resources. It is usually the protection of natural habitats that ensures the survival of wild
animals
, and most scientists agree that these habitats are
also
crucial for human survival.
For example
, rainforests produce oxygen, absorb carbon dioxide and stabilise the Earth’s climate. If we destroyed these areas, the costs of managing the resulting changes to our planet would far outweigh the costs of conservation. By protecting wild
animals
and their habitats, we maintain the natural balance of all life on Earth. In conclusion, we have no right to decide whether or not wild
animals
should exist, and I believe that we should do everything we can to protect them.
Submitted by uy322415 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure overall, but improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will make your argument stronger. Try using more connecting phrases to smoothly transition from one idea to another.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is essential for a well-structured essay. However, consider adding a summarizing sentence at the end of your introduction and a more impactful final statement in your conclusion for greater effect.
Coherence & Cohesion
You supported your main points with arguments, but incorporating more specific examples or evidence will significantly strengthen your essay. This practice demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic and adds credibility to your argument.
Task Achievement
You've provided a complete response to the task, clearly expressing your viewpoint and arguing against the given statement. To improve, make sure every paragraph contributes significantly to your argument, avoiding any redundancy or off-topic information.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are comprehensive and relevant, which shows a good understanding of the topic. Enhancing the clarity of your argument by breaking down complex ideas into simpler statements can make your essay more accessible to the reader.
Task Achievement
Including more relevant, specific examples can significantly enrich your essay. Examples are powerful tools for illustrating your points and making your argument more persuasive. They also show your knowledge of the world and ability to relate it to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: