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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

#poeple #home #workplace #place
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Some individuals opine that it is crucial to keep the estate
as well as
 the
work
 area neat and clean, by organising the stuff in the right place. I agree with
this
 notion and will discuss my opinions in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, maintaining the household and
work
 necessary items in a way of science of architecture will help to boost positive energy in the environment. To explain it, human energy will affect
according to
 their surroundings.
Moreover
, his health and wealth
also
 depend on it.
For instance
, in Japan, there is an S5 methodology, in which two elements sorting and shine will help
people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
maintain their stuff.
Therefore
, keeping the shelter maintained will sparkle the stars of the
people
.
Further
 strengthening the view, and locating objects in the correct place will help to save time.
In other words
, in
this
 workaholic era,
people
 usually arrive late to
work
 because of not find their things on time.
This
 will impact their temper and lead to developing other issues as well
such
 as fighting with family and colleagues.
For example
, the University of Singapore assured that
people
 who clean and maintain their
work
 environment will spread positivity and happiness.
Thus
,
people
 who lose to maintain suffer all day and have a bad influence on the environment. In conclusion, organising stuff is an art and every human being should be perfect at
this
 because maintaining things will not only save time but
also
 enhance well-being.
Submitted by harpreet291kaur on

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Task Achievement
Strengthen your thesis statement in the introduction by more clearly stating your main reasons that will be discussed. This guides the reader through your essay and sets expectations.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more specific details and demonstrating how they directly support your main points. This deepens the reader's understanding and engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating more complex and compound sentences to improve readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'however', etc., to link ideas more smoothly.
General
Check for any minor grammatical errors and ensure proper use of articles and prepositions to elevate the quality of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tidy
  • organised
  • correct place
  • sense of order
  • calmness
  • promote
  • enhance
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • accidents
  • safety
  • locate
  • clutter-free
  • stress
  • mental well-being
  • professionalism
  • impression
  • cleaning
  • organizing
  • dust
  • dirt
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