Some people believe that children who commit crimes should be punished. Others think that children’s parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals think that
parents
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of juveniles should take
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
to be
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for being
show examples
punished when their
children
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commit
crimes
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.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that youngsters should get their own
punishment
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. In my opinion,
parents
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are responsible people because juveniles are still liable. On one hand,
crimes
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that
children
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commit are dangerous
if
Correct word choice
and
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
should be responsible, because of the deterrent effect. It can make them not feel repentance and they will repeat to commit more
crimes
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. The
punishment
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they get should
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
deterrent effect
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that works effectively to reduce
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the crimes
show examples
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
rate in
children
Use synonyms
, so it is better to give them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
punishment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can make other
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
scared to commit more
crimes
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resulting in good habits and it will increase
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
prosperity, particularly better young generations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
punishment
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for youngsters who commit
crimes
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is prohibited in some countries, depending on
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
.
Children
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are still under
nurture
Add an article
the nurture
show examples
of
parents
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,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
should handle and get the punishments if they commit
crimes
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
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play essential roles
to educate
Change preposition
in educating
show examples
them
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to avoid criminals and give real examples in life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can adapt and copy
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
rules of their
parents
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which is a good coping mechanism for
juveniles
Change noun form
juveniles'
juvenile's
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
. All in all,
parents
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play a crucial role in nurturing their
children
Use synonyms
in a good way, so their
children
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can avoid committing
crimes
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.
Parents
Use synonyms
are the most responsible humans for their
children
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
if their
children
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commit
crimes
Use synonyms
, they should be punished.
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay in a more concise and clear manner. The logical flow from paragraph to paragraph can be improved by using linking words and phrases to better connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your topic and concluding remarks more effectively by clearly stating your stance on the issue at the beginning and summarizing your main points at the end. This helps the reader understand your position from the start and recall your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Use specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. This can add depth to your essay and make your reasoning more persuasive.
task achievement
Address the task directly by ensuring you discuss both views thoroughly before presenting your own stance. Incorporate a balanced discussion that accurately represents both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • consequences
  • deterrence
  • cognitive development
  • punitive measures
  • moral values
  • supervision
  • rehabilitation
  • education
  • root causes
  • domestic issues
  • legal system
  • criminal responsibility
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