Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world, do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In
contemporary
world, Add an article
the contemporary
globalization
is inevitably becoming a trend
, and it not only brings us benefits, but also
raises some concerning issues. The public have
not reached a consensus about whether it is a good Change the verb form
has
trend
that the similarity among different countries
are
rising Change the verb form
is
due to
individuals' ability to purchase the same products worldwide. In my opinion, like two sides of a coin, this
trend
has both positive and negative effects, but in summary, it's beneficial to our society. On one hand, an open global market could stimulate benign competitions
among companiesFix the agreement mistake
competition
,
Correct word choice
and,therefore
therefore
, improve qualities
of products. With Replace the word
improving the quality
globalization
of merchants, consumers around the world are provided with more affluent choices than before. Meanwhile, they can enjoy Add an article
the globalization
the
equal Correct article usage
apply
serve
wherever they areReplace the word
service
in
. The Change preposition
apply
internationally exchanging
of commodities would Replace the word
international exchange
also
bring up prosperity
of other industries. Add an article
the prosperity
a prosperity
For instance
, freight and advertising industries would gain more incoming through this
process, which is beneficial to the
international economic growth. Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, different sorts of diversities are still necessary, and globalization
, despite it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
contributed
a lot to every nation involvedWrong verb form
contributing
in
, would harm those diversities to some degree. Considering the fact that the price and quality of a product are the only things to be concerned Change preposition
apply
in
a transaction, some domestic special crafts would not be competitive enough and vanish in Change preposition
about in
this
trend
. Those crafts and skills represent the unique culture of their country,
and should be conserved properly. Luckily, the global prevalence of certain commodities doesn't mean the similarity is replacing the diversity totally. The most impacted areas are restricted within finance, and manufacturing Remove the comma
apply
countries
still keep their distinctive traditions and culture in other aspects. In conclusion, although
it has been concerned
to cause damage to involving Verb problem
considered
countries
, the globalization
of products still contributes a lot to those countries
. In summary, it does more good than harm. I personally think it is a positive development.Submitted by 13044387123 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a distinct main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that previews the main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
For an even stronger introduction and conclusion, consider adding a succinct summary of the main arguments or a restatement of your position in the conclusion to reinforce your stance more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. Specific examples not only reinforce your arguments but also make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, make sure every part of the question is answered. Tailor your argument so it directly responds to whether the global uniformity of products is positive or negative, explaining why and providing balanced viewpoints.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas for a more comprehensive response. This involves explaining the implications of your points more thoroughly and exploring the differences between your arguments.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments, which will help illustrate your points more effectively and make your essay more convincing to the reader.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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