IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, people now often throw things away when they are broken and buy new ones, whereas in the past broken things were repaired and used again. Why do you think this is the case? What problems may it lead to?

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Nowadays, people usually tend to throw away broken or unworking things,
however
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 back in the time society used to be more gentle towards stuff and would try to repair it rather than send it to the trash. The reason for
this
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 is the fact that
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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 market is overflowed with
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of products,
therefore
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 it is cheaper to purchase a new one than to
repaire
Correct your spelling
repair
broken
Correct pronoun usage
broken one
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. That situation may lead to overconsumption and even to ecological disaster. Today new technologies
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 people to easily create whatever they want,
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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becames
Correct your spelling
become
 cheaper and faster
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial development.
For instance
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, approximately half a century ago almost all clothes were made out of cotton or any other organic material, nowadays most of the resources
made
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are made
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 artificially.
Therefore
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, less energy
required
Add a missing verb
is required
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 to produce a thing,
hence
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 there is a need to collect and prepare all organic sources.
Consequently
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, it
is
Verb problem
has
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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 cheaper to buy a new product rather than
repair
Correct pronoun usage
repair it
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.
This
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 situation will definitely lead to overconsumption,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has a huge harmful
affect
Replace the word
effect
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into
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
For example
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, nowadays, there are a lot of popular online markets that
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 cheap products, which after a few
monthes
Correct your spelling
months
 go to the trash.
As a result
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,
the
Change preposition
of the
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 ecological disaster,
hence
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 not all countries are properly recycling and they just tend to store all of the trash.
Therefore
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,
ecological
Add an article
the ecological
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 balance is going to be destroyed and it may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global
worming
Correct your spelling
warming
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. In conclusion, the reason for people to prefer buying a new thing
than
Change preposition
over
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 repairing
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 may be
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a cheap price in a market
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new product.
However
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, it may lead to a huge ecological problem, which may even be
irreversable
Correct your spelling
irreversible
.

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. Try to make them more engaging by including a thesis statement in your introduction and summarizing your main points more clearly in your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a logical structure. You could improve this by clearly delineating paragraphs, each of which should focus on a distinct main point. Use transition words to help bridge ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. Personal anecdotes, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios could enhance your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've mentioned why this trend occurs and the potential problems it might cause, delve deeper into exploring these aspects to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in your ideas. This involves organizing your thoughts before writing and making sure each paragraph contributes to your overall argument. Avoid overly generalized statements and focus on being specific.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to include more relevant and specific examples. These examples should directly support your points and help illustrate your arguments more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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