In many parts of the world, people now often throw things away when they are broken and buy new ones, whereas in the past broken things were repaired and used again. Why do you think this is the case? What problems may it lead to?

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Nowadays, people usually tend to throw away broken or unworking things,

however

back in the time society used to be more gentle towards stuff and would try to repair it rather than send it to the trash. The reason for

this

is the fact that

modern day

Add a hyphen

modern-day

show examples

market is overflowed with

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of products,

therefore

it is cheaper to purchase a new one than to

repaire

Correct your spelling

repair

broken

Correct pronoun usage

broken one

show examples

. That situation may lead to overconsumption and even to ecological disaster. Today new technologies

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

people to easily create whatever they want,

productions

Fix the agreement mistake

production

show examples

becames

Correct your spelling

become

cheaper and faster

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

industrial development.

For instance

, approximately half a century ago almost all clothes were made out of cotton or any other organic material, nowadays most of the resources

made

Add a missing verb

are made

show examples

artificially.

Therefore

, less energy

required

Add a missing verb

is required

show examples

to produce a thing,

hence

there is a need to collect and prepare all organic sources.

Consequently

, it

Verb problem

has

show examples

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

cheaper to buy a new product rather than

repair

Correct pronoun usage

repair it

show examples

This

situation will definitely lead to overconsumption,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

has a huge harmful

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature.

For example

, nowadays, there are a lot of popular online markets that

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

cheap products, which after a few

monthes

Correct your spelling

months

go to the trash.

As a result

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

ecological disaster,

hence

not all countries are properly recycling and they just tend to store all of the trash.

Therefore

ecological

Add an article

the ecological

show examples

balance is going to be destroyed and it may lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global

worming

Correct your spelling

warming

show examples

. In conclusion, the reason for people to prefer buying a new thing

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

repairing

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

may be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a cheap price in a market

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a new product.

However

, it may lead to a huge ecological problem, which may even be

irreversable

Correct your spelling

irreversible

Submitted by dyussenovaanel on Sat Mar 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. Try to make them more engaging by including a thesis statement in your introduction and summarizing your main points more clearly in your conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay follows a logical structure. You could improve this by clearly delineating paragraphs, each of which should focus on a distinct main point. Use transition words to help bridge ideas.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. Personal anecdotes, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios could enhance your argument and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've mentioned why this trend occurs and the potential problems it might cause, delve deeper into exploring these aspects to provide a more comprehensive analysis.

task achievement

Strive for clarity in your ideas. This involves organizing your thoughts before writing and making sure each paragraph contributes to your overall argument. Avoid overly generalized statements and focus on being specific.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, try to include more relevant and specific examples. These examples should directly support your points and help illustrate your arguments more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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In many parts of the world, people now often throw things away when they are broken and buy new ones, whereas in the past broken things were repaired and used again. Why do you think this is the case? What problems may it lead to?

Your opinion

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?