Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

#friend #child #music #information #academy #school #teacher #class

Dear Ahmad, Hope you doing well. it's been a

while

since we met each other. I think, at least we should be connected through letters. I'm writing

this

letter because you asked me about Star

Music

academy

Capitalize word

Academy

show examples

. In

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

answer to your question, I would like to say that Star

Music

academy

Capitalize word

Academy

show examples

is one of the best academies in the town because the way of their teaching is very

heart touching

Add a hyphen

heart-touching

show examples

. When you join

this

academey

Correct your spelling

academy

you see a friendly atmosphere. No doubt they have trained staff and professional

music

teachers who teach their

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

in a friendly way. So I think you should try

this

academey

Correct your spelling

academy

. And the reason behind my

recomendation

Correct your spelling

recommendation

is that. if you want your kid to learn some serious education in

music

which could be helpful in future.

You

Correct pronoun usage

Your

show examples

child should join

this

academy. Please don't hesitate if you still have reservations. I'm always available for you. Yours Sincerely, Kunwar

Submitted by computersinn2007 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. The transition between describing the academy and recommending a teacher or class could be more seamless.

task achievement

To improve task response, expand on your description of the music school by including more detailed examples of why it's considered the best. Additionally, mentioning a specific teacher or class to attend would directly address the task's requirement.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'academy' is misspelled as 'academey' and 'you' as 'your' in a context where 'your' was intended. Proper attention to these details will enhance your overall score.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

154 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enrich
facility
extracurricular
expertise
tailored
nurture
flourish
credentials
enthusiasm
commend
conducive
engagement
versatile
dedication

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Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

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There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People sleeps less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effects does it have on individuals and on society?

Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?