Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

Dear Ahmad, Hope you doing well. it's been a
while
since we met each other. I think, at least we should be connected through letters. I'm writing
this
letter because you asked me about Star
Music
academy
Capitalize word
Academy
show examples
. In
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
answer to your question, I would like to say that Star
Music
academy
Capitalize word
Academy
show examples
is one of the best academies in the town because the way of their teaching is very
heart touching
Add a hyphen
heart-touching
show examples
. When you join
this
academey
Correct your spelling
academy
you see a friendly atmosphere. No doubt they have trained staff and professional
music
teachers who teach their
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
in a friendly way. So I think you should try
this
academey
Correct your spelling
academy
. And the reason behind my
recomendation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
is that. if you want your kid to learn some serious education in
music
which could be helpful in future.
You
Correct pronoun usage
Your
show examples
child should join
this
academy. Please don't hesitate if you still have reservations. I'm always available for you. Yours Sincerely, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. The transition between describing the academy and recommending a teacher or class could be more seamless.
task achievement
To improve task response, expand on your description of the music school by including more detailed examples of why it's considered the best. Additionally, mentioning a specific teacher or class to attend would directly address the task's requirement.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'academy' is misspelled as 'academey' and 'you' as 'your' in a context where 'your' was intended. Proper attention to these details will enhance your overall score.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrich
  • facility
  • extracurricular
  • expertise
  • tailored
  • nurture
  • flourish
  • credentials
  • enthusiasm
  • commend
  • conducive
  • engagement
  • versatile
  • dedication
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