IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyles #countryside #health #cities
Countries involve
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several
government
Change to a plural noun
governments
show examples
.The government
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
cities
 and
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
cities
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
many villages. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 argue that living in
cities
 more
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
 than living in the villages.In my opinion living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is more beneficial than
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 place. First of all, in the past,
people
 living were more fresh water and green
grave
Fix the agreement mistake
graves
show examples
.
There
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 are looking at
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of water and fresh food for themselves and their animals when they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decid
Correct your spelling
decide
 to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 or when
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 one place to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
.More
ver
Correct your spelling
over
show examples
, most of them do not think about infrastructure because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it was not
availability
Replace the word
available at
show examples
 that
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and
also
, they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 education and entertainment ,they
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 happy
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 small things,
such
 as,
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 football with their peers in their village .
For example
, Bedouin
people
 always travel from
place
Correct pronoun usage
one place
show examples
 to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 only because of reacher for water and food .
Secondly
, today
youner
Replace the word
the young
show examples
 generation looking for
ward
Correct article usage
a ward
show examples
 to big
cities
 where every things available.
in addition
,They
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always think about their job and
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of their children when they decide to
built
Change the verb
build
show examples
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be near their job , school , hospital, mall and good entertainment .
For instance
,
omani
Change the capitalization
Omani
show examples
youner
Correct your spelling
younger
 built their houses in Muscat. In Muscat region every things available
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 jobs, a lot of good
privat
Correct your spelling
private
 and government
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
provid
Correct your spelling
provided
 by good
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 technology , parks,
several
Correct word choice
and several
show examples
mall
Change to a plural noun
malls
show examples
 spread
in
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
All
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 area . In
conclued
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,there are a lot of
people
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 living in
cities
 . In my opinion , I still strongly believe that living in your village
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 healthy in the sense of relaxation and good health,
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
be
Verb problem
you are
show examples
 near
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your family and
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
relative
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
show examples
.
Submitted by fatema14mohammed on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your viewpoint. Concluding statements should succinctly summarize your arguments.
Logical Structure
Aim for a coherent structure by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs. This aids in the flow of your essay and enhances reader comprehension. Examples include: 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'For instance', and 'However'.
Address Task Requirements
Address the task directly by discussing both views mentioned in the prompt before providing your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
Use of Examples
Enrich your essay with specific examples to support your points. Specific examples add credibility and depth to your arguments. They help illustrate your points more vividly.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Revise for grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication of your essay. Frequent errors can distract and confuse the reader.
Idea Development
Focus on developing clear, comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. Avoid overly broad statements without support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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