The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017

#show #percentage #second #language #classes #australian #school #students #two #cities

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The given pie charts compare the information about the proportion of second

language

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classes

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was

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apply

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taken by secondary school children in

Melbourne

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and

Sydney

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in 2017.

Overall

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it is clear that

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Mandarin and Japanese

language

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classes

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were by far the most popular among secondary pupils in both towns,

while

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Italian was taken more in

Melbourne

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than in

Sydney

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According to

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the data, the percentage of Mandarin lessons accounted for 40%,

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additionally

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additionally,

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Japanese

classes

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comprised just a quarter in

Melbourne

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. The secondary

language

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classes

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with the lowest percentage were Indonesian and others at 10%.

Finally

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, 15% of Italian

language

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classes

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was

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were

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chosen by secondary school learners in

Melbourne

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in 2017.

It is clear that

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almost half of secondary pupils from

Sydney

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prefer learning Mandarin

language

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however

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there in ten of them chose Japanese. The percentage of other

language

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classes

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was just 15% in

Sydney

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. The figures for Indonesia and Italian

classes

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stood at the same per cent (5%)

Submitted by ina1_95 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words language, classes, melbourne, sydney with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?