The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017

The chart below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017
The given pie charts compare the information about the proportion of second
language
classes
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken by secondary school children in
Melbourne
and
Sydney
in 2017.
Overall
,
it is clear that
Mandarin and Japanese
language
classes
were by far the most popular among secondary pupils in both towns,
while
Italian was taken more in
Melbourne
than in
Sydney
.
According to
the data, the percentage of Mandarin lessons accounted for 40%,
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
Japanese
classes
comprised just a quarter in
Melbourne
. The secondary
language
classes
with the lowest percentage were Indonesian and others at 10%.
Finally
, 15% of Italian
language
classes
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
chosen by secondary school learners in
Melbourne
in 2017.
It is clear that
almost half of secondary pupils from
Sydney
prefer learning Mandarin
language
,
however
there in ten of them chose Japanese. The percentage of other
language
classes
was just 15% in
Sydney
. The figures for Indonesia and Italian
classes
stood at the same per cent (5%)
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, classes, melbourne, sydney with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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