Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time being active or creative. What is the reason for this? What measures should be taken to encourage children to be more active?

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In contemporary society, the number of
children
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being exposed to television for longer hours has significantly increased, which trends towards passivity.
Such
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a phenomenon lies in the lack of parental supervision and availability of diverse TV
programs
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,
while
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concerns regarding addiction issues can be alleviated through the concerted efforts of
parents
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. One of the primary reasons behind
children
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’s addiction to television is technological development. There are several broadcasting
programs
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on TV,
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while
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and
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children
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are able to easily access OTT services
such
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as Netflix, Disney Plus and YouTube content.
Therefore
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, the vast majority of their
time
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is spent watching animations, movies, soap operas and game content
instead
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of doing outdoor
activities
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with their peers.
This
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is
coupled with
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the hectic schedules of working
parents
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. There has been a dramatic increase in the number of double-income households, leaving latchkey
children
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indulging in screen-based
activities
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. Even
parents
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who return from work typically prioritize catching up on household chores
such
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as cooking, doing laundry
and
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apply
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cleaning up the mess or chilling out.
Hence
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, they show tablet
pcs
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PCs
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or televisions to their kids rather than spending more quality
time
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with them. In order to solve the above-detailed problems, busy working
parents
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should send their kids to private institutions or after-school
programs
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on weekdays. When youngsters are able to engage in art classes, they will try different kinds of creative
activities
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like painting, drawing, and pottery making.
Furthermore
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, participating in sporting
activities
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such
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as soccer and basketball fosters interaction with peers and helps them maintain fitness and health. On weekends or after work,
parents
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should spare their
time
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to get
along with
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their kids, reading books or having small talks after dinner. They could
also
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visit amusement parks or travel domestically to create cherished memories and make
children
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more active.
Last
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but not least, setting a clear schedule for
children
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’s screen
time
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is crucial.
For example
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, they should only be allowed to watch their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
animation for only 2 hours after finishing their homework assignments, which improves their self-control abilities. In conclusion, working
parents
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have used various media platforms as a means to distract their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
while
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taking a break or doing domestic chores after work, which
contribute
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contributes
show examples
to increasing screen
time
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.
However
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, they should put effort into spending more
time
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or sending them to extracurricular
programs
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to participate more in active and creative
activities
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instead
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of staying in front of
TV
Add an article
the TV
a TV
show examples
all day.
Submitted by uzookim on

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task response
Try to delve deeper into each idea by providing more specific examples that illustrate your points. While you offered general scenarios, incorporating detailed examples or statistics could make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, moving from problem to solution effectively. However, to enhance coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs. Phrases that more clearly link your points could help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
To elevate your score in coherence and cohesion, consider refining your paragraph structure for better flow. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task response
In terms of task response, ensure that you address all parts of the question thoroughly. While you have covered the reasons and solutions adequately, adding a brief examination of the implications of increased screen time on children could provide a more rounded response.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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