‘Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other.’ To what extent do you agree with this idea?

The
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
letter is being
expressed
Wrong verb form
express
show examples
my interest in
this
opportunity.
I
Add a verb
I am
I was
show examples
highly motivated to
work
at
backbone
Capitalize word
Backbone
show examples
.
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as I am quite familiar with the subject, keen
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
innovation, and definitely support the idea, that
energy
can be transformed into money.
In addition
, I love to create, implement and develop IT products and I’m really good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
it. The first reason why I
close
Add a missing verb
am close
show examples
to the topic
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
is that I have
technical
Correct article usage
a technical
show examples
education. The second reason is about
work
experience. I have done some scientific
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
, which included creating
an IT systems
Correct the article-noun agreement
an IT system
IT systems
show examples
. The first one was about saving money for
energy
sources
due to
technological process optimization based on computing
modeling
Change the spelling
modelling
show examples
. The next was “
Energy
saving: scientific, technical and economic aspects of ensuring
energy
security.
Economic
Add an article
The economic
show examples
justification for the feasibility of introducing cogeneration plants and
energy
-saving water treatment technologies at food industry enterprises”. I
also
lead, working as a creator of the concept and ideology as well, the research project “
Energy
and Economic Passports of Railways”, related to the development of a new system for accounting for the costs of fuel and
energy
resources of railways, ensuring their transparency and controllability.
I
Add a verb
I am
I was
show examples
passionate about delivering fast and reliable systems and services designed to suit the needs of our customers and consumers.
Last
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
I managed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
team of developers, analysts, designers, and DevOps
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
and worked as a
Product
Lead and
Product
Owner. I worked as a Solution Architect in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big company starting
her
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
digital transformation. As I can see, I can bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great value to the company and I
full
Add a missing verb
am full
show examples
of enthusiasm to do
this
.
Due to
my familiarity with business and system
analyzing
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
, ability to
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
quick
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, broad range mindset, and earned value management, I can easily create the best roadmap for the
product
, formulate the right requirements and show the benefits from implementation. (I presented my ideas and experience about requirements management at the PMI Business Analysis Conference, I was the only one from Europe as a speaker there and I have got
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great feedback). I’ve released many products,
WebApps
Correct word choice
and WebApps
show examples
as well,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
of them are still working and developing.
Additionally
, I have a good taste in design. Before I created the task for the designer, I created the user stories and simple landing. I am perfect at managing people and processes. I managed big projects, which were
implementing
Change the form of the verb
implemented
show examples
on the big territory in the different time zones, by some teams and subcontractors.
Depends
Wrong verb form
Depending
show examples
on
project
Add an article
the project
show examples
, I use different methodologies,
such
as Waterfall, Agile (Scrum, Kanban mostly), or combine them. Apart from team engagement and inspiration, I focus on our priorities to make sure that we meet our objectives on time and
budget
Change preposition
within budget
show examples
.
Besides
, I am good at
work
estimation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
evaluate
Wrong verb form
evaluating
show examples
team progress with different metrics.
Moreover
, I use metrics and
product
analysis to improve the
product
. I always
work
for the financial result. I am intelligent, creative, positive, flexible, curious, and active. I love reading, hiking, watching movies, and travelling. I would love to meet for an interview and discuss my contribution to your company. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Submitted by yarinka13 on

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task response
To improve your essay, first, ensure that you provide a clear and relevant introduction that directly addresses the topic and outlines the main points of your essay. Avoid jumping straight into details without setting the context.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay flows logically from one point to the next, using connectors and transitions to guide the reader through your arguments. This includes having a clear progression of ideas, from introduction to conclusion.
task response
Support your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. While you provided examples from your experience, ensure that each example directly supports your argument, with a clear link to the topic in question.
coherence and cohesion
Include a concise conclusion that summarizes your stance on the topic and reiterates the main points discussed, offering a final reflection or call to action.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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