In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Undoubtedly, the exodus of rural
people
to megacities is becoming more and more frequent, leaving countryside
under-populated. Personally, I think the movements of rural inhabitants to Correct article usage
the countryside
cities
can have negative implications to
both Change preposition
for
countryside
and urban Correct article usage
the countryside
areas
.
It is clear that
the economy in the countryside
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
due to
the exodus of talented young people
. Nowadays, many young adults relocate to metropolitan cities
in search of educational or professional opportunities. Consequently
, the number of energetic people
labouring in the farmland decreases, which would probably adversely affect the crop yield, lowering the income of farmers. Besides
, individuals who leave their hometowns are in most cases energetic and creative young people
, without whom the businesses in the countryside
would not be able to thrive, making local
economy stagnant. Correct article usage
the local
This
is a vicious cycle, exagerating
the young's desire to relocate. Correct your spelling
exaggerating
As a result
, the problem of regional disparities would be more severe.
Apart from rural communities, the citizens in urban areas
are certainly negatively influenced by the movements of rural people
. As the population density rockets in megacities, the livelihood in urban areas
suffers. The urban population is increasing in cities
, whereas
the land resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
is
limited. The supply cannot meet the demand for housing, which greatly Correct subject-verb agreement
are
increasing
house property prices. Wrong verb form
increases
For example
, a studio in the center
of Beijing costs more than 200 Change the spelling
centre
thousands
euros, putting huge pressure on Change to singular
thousand
people
living in the capital. Another consequence is that the number of passengers in public transportation has surpassed the capacities of the latter. The metros and buses are always crowded in urban areas
, especially during peak hours, adding to the feeling of anxiety that people
have already gained from the workplace.
In conclusion, in many countries around the world, rural inhabitants are relocating to cities
, which will not only curb the economic development in rural areas
but also
impair the sense of comfort of citizens.Submitted by qianqian.wu22 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the question prompt in your introduction, explicitly stating if you believe the trend is a positive or negative development before delving into your arguments. This will strengthen your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex connectives and transitions to link your ideas more seamlessly. While your essay has a clear logical flow, using a wider range of cohesive devices will enhance your coherence and cohesion score.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each paragraph fully develops its main point. This could involve including additional specific examples or elaborating on existing ones to ground your arguments more firmly in reality.
Coherence and Cohesion
End your conclusion with a stronger, more definitive stance. Restate your main points briefly and conclude with a compelling final sentence that highlights the overall significance of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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