Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?

#students #jobs #universities #idea

In the modern world, When studying in universities, nowadays many

students

work in

part

-time

jobs

. In my opinion, I think it is a good idea to make money in

university

life

, which can reduce the expense of parents. There are many reasons for working in

part

-time

jobs

while

studying at

university

. First of all, they can reduce the expense of their parents, which impacts to quality of living, because many

students

are likely to shopping and party and that are so expensive.

Moreover

, they would get work experience before they

graduate

from

university

, which is important for finding

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

jobs

when

graduate

and can improve their

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skills.

Due to when

Change preposition

When

show examples

they

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

they will get

Add an article

the issue

an issue

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

and solve

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Additionally

, some

students

think they can save money and invest for a better

life

For example

students

from the faculty of engineering

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

with an automation company

for

Change preposition

show examples

design mechanical

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

. when they get a salary they

devide

Correct your spelling

divide

into two groups first for living and second for invest.

Furthermore

, when

work

Change the verb form

working

show examples

service

Correct article usage

the service

show examples

section they will communicate with customers or other people.

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

the ability to communicate of them will

be enhance

Change the verb form

be enhanced

show examples

. which have benefits for their working

life

when

graduate

To conclude

woking

Correct your spelling

working

show examples

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

jobs

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

many

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

for

university

students

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Because they can help

Change preposition

with parents

show examples

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

and another

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

is can improve communication skills. I believe that if

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life

when they

graduate

from

university

Submitted by kungslowjam on Sat Mar 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider creating a more clear structure for your essay by introducing paragraph breaks that clearly separate your introduction, main body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

Though your essay includes a clear viewpoint and relevant examples, strive for more precise phrasing and reduce repetition. Enhance your argument by varying your language and sentence structures.

task achievement

While your essay provides supportive examples, expanding on these with more detail and depth would strengthen your argument further. Aim to elaborate on why these examples are persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. This includes managing sentence length effectively, using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and ensuring punctuation accuracy to improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Today, many people are suffering from health problems because of fast food the Government should tax higher fast food what is your opinion about this?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+