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Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?

#students #jobs #universities #idea
In the modern world, When studying in universities, nowadays many
students
 work in
part
-time
jobs
. In my opinion, I think it is a good idea to make money in
university
life
, which can reduce the expense of parents. There are many reasons for working in
part
-time
jobs
while
 studying at
university
. First of all, they can reduce the expense of their parents, which impacts to quality of living, because many
students
 are likely to shopping and party and that are so expensive.
Moreover
, they would get work experience before they
graduate
 from
university
, which is important for finding
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
jobs
 when
graduate
 and can improve their
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills.
Due to when
Change preposition
When
show examples
 they
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 they will get
Add an article
the issue
an issue
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 and solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Additionally
, some
students
 think they can save money and invest for a better
life
.
For example
,
students
 from the faculty of engineering
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 with an automation company
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 design mechanical
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
. when they get a salary they
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
 into two groups first for living and second for invest.
Furthermore
, when
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 in
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
 section they will communicate with customers or other people.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the ability to communicate of them will
be enhance
Change the verb form
be enhanced
show examples
. which have benefits for their working
life
 when
graduate
.
To conclude
,
woking
Correct your spelling
working
show examples
 in
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
jobs
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 for
university
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Because they can help
Change preposition
with parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 and another
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 is can improve communication skills. I believe that if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
 when they
graduate
 from
university
 .
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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coherence cohesion
Consider creating a more clear structure for your essay by introducing paragraph breaks that clearly separate your introduction, main body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Though your essay includes a clear viewpoint and relevant examples, strive for more precise phrasing and reduce repetition. Enhance your argument by varying your language and sentence structures.
task achievement
While your essay provides supportive examples, expanding on these with more detail and depth would strengthen your argument further. Aim to elaborate on why these examples are persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. This includes managing sentence length effectively, using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and ensuring punctuation accuracy to improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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