Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jon or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and gives your opinion.

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While
some
people
argue that it is important to accept unfortunate situations,
such
as having not enough money or a
dissapointing
Correct your spelling
disappointing
job
, others believe
that is
better to do something to improve the existing
life
outcome. 
Although
I can see the point why accepting a bad
situation
can benefit
people
, I believe that doing something to improve your
situation
is the best thing to do.
Life
can be
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
sometimes, and bad things happen. Unfortunately, not all bad
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
can be changed. Accepting unfortunate
life
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
can be good for
people
. It makes them
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
peace with
life
, and
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
life
through
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
lens.
For example
, some
people
experienced a car accident and it impacted their mobility permanently. Another example is that some
people
lost their parents or kids because of earthquakes.
Those
Change the determiner
That situation
Those situations
show examples
situation
can not be changed. It could cost
people
their mental health if they try to change
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
. The best thing to do is to accept that you cannot change
those
Change the determiner
that situation
those situations
show examples
situation
and continue your
life
.
On the other hand
, some unsatisfactory
life
outcomes can be changed. In fact, there is always room for improvement. Trying to change your bad
life
outcome can be good for
people
because it gives
people
a sense of satisfaction from doing something.
In addition
, it
also
provides them with a possibility to improve their
life
condition.
For example
, if a person is not pleased with their
exisiting
Correct your spelling
existing
job
, she/he can try to
looking
Change the verb
look
show examples
for another
job
or try improving certain aspects of her
job
which do not make her happy,
such
as talking to their supervisor or HR manager if she wants
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
salary.
As a result
, she might get her salary increased. In conclusion,
while
some unfortunate
life
events cannot be changed and
people
have to accept them, some can be improved. In my opinion, it is better to do something to improve our
situation
. Doing something can give
people
a sense of satisfaction and
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
to improve their
life
results.
Submitted by NA on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve flow and readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples or personal experiences to support your points more effectively. This will help to make your arguments more convincing.
Task Achievement
Be more explicit in stating your own opinion. While you have expressed a preference, making your stance clear early in the essay can strengthen your argument.
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