IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual persons to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Climate change is a phenomenon affecting people
in
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from
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 all walks of life, from
indiviadual
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individual
 citizens to the whole country and huge
mutinational
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multinational
multinationals
 companies.
Therefore
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, I disagree with the notion that the only way to protect the
environment
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 is at an international level. I firmly believe that the problem can be handled if
individuals
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 contribute, all governments take steps at
national
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the national
a national
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 level and join hands together.
To begin
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 with, each person can have positive impacts to protect the
environment
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. There are many ways to
perserve
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preserve
perceive
 our surroundings.
For example
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, if
individuals
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 tend to use cars less frequently, they should use public transport or means of vehicles that emit less CO2 and harmful emissions into the
ecosymtem
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ecosystem
such
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 as
bicyles
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bicycles
, electric
motobikes
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motorbikes
 and electric cars.
Hence
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, green transportation not only
reduce
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reduces
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 gas emissions but
also
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contribute
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contributes
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 to saving fossil fuels and
mainteance
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maintenance
 costs for users.
Additionaally
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Additionally
, if everyone
stop
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stops
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 wasting water,
dispose
Wrong verb form
disposing
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off
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of
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 their rubbish properly,
start
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starts
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 accepting recycled material and
stop
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stops
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 succumbing to consumerism,
then
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 it would go a long way in solving the problem of
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environment
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the environment
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, it is true that some environmental issues are too big for
individuals
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 to deal with. For serious problems,
such
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 as global warming, prolonged droughts, violent storms, or other extreme weather events, to be effectively addressed, it requires the efforts and cooperation of politicians and large environmental organisations.
This
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 is because solving
such
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 problems requires special equipment, the use of modern technological devices and large numbers of experienced scientists to work together.
For instance
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, it takes years for researchers to collect various samples and analyse huge amounts of data in order to know the major causes of global warming
,
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apply
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 and to help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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find the most effective solutions to tackle
this
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 problem. Only governments can have sufficient funds and resources to invest in
this
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. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that protecting the
environment
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 is the obligation of both politicians and
individuals
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.

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task achievement
Ensure you clearly present your thesis statement in the introduction to immediately clarify your stance on the issue. This sets the foundation for a coherent argument throughout your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points with a balanced approach in each paragraph. Your essay should equally address the reasons for your stance, providing examples or evidence for each point you make. The use of examples is commendable, yet strive for even more detailed illustrations if possible.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will create a smoother reading experience and bolster the logical flow of information.
coherence cohesion
You exhibited a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance this further, refine your topic sentences to ensure each one succinctly introduces the main idea of its paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • environmental degradation
  • unified approach
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • resource constraints
  • technology constraints
  • international treaties
  • global standards
  • collective efforts
  • local initiatives
  • non-governmental organizations
  • corporations
  • environmental protection
  • specificities
  • innovative potential
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