The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#apple #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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A glance at the diagram provided the process of canning

apples

Use synonyms

which is from hand picking to despatch.

Overall

Linking Words

, there are 14 steps.In the beginning, it commences with hand picking and the following steps are transporting, washing, the quality check, cold storing, weighing , peeling, corning, canning,sealing, cooking, labelling, storage and ends with despatch.

According to

Linking Words

the information shown in the diagram, the picked

apples

Use synonyms

will be transported to be washed before the quality inspection. There will be a cold storing procedure for the qualified

apples

Use synonyms

. Afterwards, they will be graded before being peeled.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the peeled

apples

Use synonyms

will be sliced in order to be canned.Those containers will be sealed and cooked for sterilization.When the sterilizing procedure is completed, the containers will be

labeled

Change the spelling

labelled

show examples

and put into the storage area.

Finally

Linking Words

, they will be despatched.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it can be apparently seen that there is a lot of work before the despatch of canned

apples

Use synonyms

Submitted by s99104032 on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words apples with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

canning process
systematic nature
ripe apples
preservatives
sterilization
distribution
technology-intensive
longevity
quality control
packaging
hygiene standards

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