Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Poor
countries
often experience
a suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
to afford medication. Many of their
people
are died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases that actually can be cured by drugs.
This
essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
possibility
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
how to
reduced
Change the form of the verb
reduce
show examples
drug
prices; from
drug
companies
or
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
government
. Health and medication should be the main priority and every living
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to get the best health products. Some
people
say,
drug
Correct word choice
that drug
show examples
companies
should
reduced
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
their product prices in order to make their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
available for all.
However
, the
government
also
plays a crucial part in the reduction of
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
by subsidising the drugs.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
example
Add an article
an example
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
African
countries
, which considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a poor
Correct the article-noun agreement
a poor country
poor countries
show examples
countries
. The number of
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
there is higher than any other
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
outside Africa. But, not all disease is un-curable. Some
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can be prevented and cured.
However
, since the
price
of drugs is too high, the disease can't be cured.
Thus
, it can
also
be infectious and
spreadint
Correct your spelling
spreading
to the
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. Developed
countries
,
such
as Europe or
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Stated
Replace the word
States
show examples
might not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
this
kind of problem. The
government
is subsidising their medical products by
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
more tax from the wealthier
people
to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
the poor
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Mostly,
drug
companies
are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
private
companies
,
thus
it
likely
Add a missing verb
is likely
show examples
more difficult for them to adjust their
price
. The
price
competitiveness
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
will be affected. In conclusion, the
government
plays a crucial role in adjusting the market
price
and taking care of their
people
in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
their health.
Submitted by shafa.ifdial on

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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure you fully address the prompt by discussing why drug companies should or should not lower their prices for poor countries. Include more specific examples and ensure a clear position is stated and developed throughout.
Coherence
Increase coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic that relates directly to the prompt. Use transitions to more effectively link ideas and paragraphs.
Cohesion
For cohesion, work on crafting clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each sentence within the paragraph supports this central idea. Using linking words more effectively will also help improve flow and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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