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Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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 complex world, advertising is
ubiquitous
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a ubiquitous
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 aspect of modern life which has been creating
competitive
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a competitive
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 workplace for companies. Owing to survive in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 conditions, businesses concentrate on novel
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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. From my perspective, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive trend if corporations strive to gain quality
of
Change preposition
apply
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products and promote environmental issues through new approaches. First of all, people inherently gravitate toward novelty life, thanks to technology, nowadays,
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
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 technology is used by advertising companies to achieve
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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 instinctual attraction. Obviously , in the current economic climate, the biggest
purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
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 of
company
Correct article usage
a company
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 is earning more revenue so products should
being
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be
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 changed constantly based on consumer’s needs. To cite an example, Apple market in order to expand its brand update shapes and quality of goods to gain a competitive edge.
Besides
, with the advent of technology in
Correct article usage
the advertismen
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advertismen
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
 world, individuals are informed of various choices;
hence
, it has myriad merits for both the consumers and the companies.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enterprises will more succeed if they take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmentally friendly methods into account. These days, a growing number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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businesses are utilizing environmental ways to enhance their brand and become eye-catching
into
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
For instance
, some industries use natural materials
instead
 of plastic or other chemical substances.
Therefore
, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
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 tempted and persuaded to buy and provide their goods with the aim of preserving
environment
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the environment
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 and supporting them.
To sum up
,
although
adverting
Verb problem
advertising
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novelty
Correct article usage
the novelty
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 of commodities for businesses,
make
Verb problem
creates
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great
Add an article
a great
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 opportunity to trap potential customers, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
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 economic growth and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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 quality of life but
also
 has positive effects on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 considering new approaches.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is well structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You've done well with this, just make sure each part is clearly defined with topic sentences and conclusions.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you provided general examples, more detailed instances could strengthen your arguments significantly.
general
Work on refining your grammar and vocabulary. There are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors. Consider reviewing basic grammar rules and expanding your vocabulary to include a wider range of expressions.
task achievement
Be consistent and clear in your argumentation. You've presented several positive aspects of companies emphasizing new products but also consider addressing potential negatives in a balanced manner, especially if the question asks for both perspectives.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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