The maps illustrate the changes in the Local Museum at the north-east corner of Hartford Street and Redcliff Street in three separate years: 1957, 1987, 2007.
The image demonstrates the Museum located at Hartford Street in 1957 and how it was reconstructed by 2007, with all the changes throughout the given period in 50 years.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the building almost doubled in size,
and a lot of new activities opened. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, a garden took place all around the facility back in 1957, while
in 2007 garden was placed at a small corner in the back yard of the Museum, all other place was given for the parking lot.
It is interesting to note that, previously the museum consisted of three rooms, while
in 2007 that number doubled. The local history room increased and became the centre of a building that connected all other galleries. There
Correct pronoun usage
They
also
opened a shop and cafe for customer comfort.
It is important to mention that in 1957 outside parks were more diverse with plenty of different trees. However
, most of them were cut to build a car park in front of the building.Submitted by dyussenovaanel on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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