IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true that learning foreign languages is important and has a lot of benefits for people
such
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 as studying in other countries and preventing communication barriers.
However
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, there are some people who believe
children
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 should learn foreign languages at primary school,
while
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 others do not agree with
this
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 statement.
To begin
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 with, young
children
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 have the ability to adapt more than older kids,
also
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 they learn new things quickly. Their brains are more flexible and still growing compared to the older ones. Exposing a foreign
language
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 at an early age can enhance an individual’s cognitive development and communication skills for
children
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.
For instance
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, if they go abroad to study or travel, they can use their
language
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 skills to communicate with foreigners.
In addition
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, primary school can encourage fast learning for kids. Because they start learning lessons from the bottom to the top.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that there are some disadvantages to practising
language
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 skills. First of all, they might be concerned about the emotions of
children
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 after learning in school.
For example
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, some
children
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 tend to get stressed after learning new languages. Because they cannot communicate and understand it at first.
Secondly
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, it can decrease
time
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the time
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of
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for
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 other activities
such
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 as sports activities and playing with friends.
To sum up
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,
although
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 learning a foreign
language
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 has many benefits, there
is
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apply
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a
drawback
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drawbacks
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 too. But I think the advantages of learning linguistic knowledge outweigh the disadvantages.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Use the introduction to succinctly lay out what you plan to discuss.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding your main points with more specific examples. While you mention the advantages and disadvantages well, adding more detailed examples could further strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to the overall argument. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph's main point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words to better connect your ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in making your essay flow more naturally and enhances coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to equally develop both sides of the argument before concluding. This will not only provide a more balanced view but also allow you to demonstrate a wider range of language.
Task Achievement
Consider incorporating counterarguments or acknowledging potential downsides to your position before reaffirming your stance in the conclusion. This can add depth to your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
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