IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#internet #newspapers
In
fast-paced
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the fast-paced
show examples
 digital era,
internet
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the internet
show examples
 is becoming more popular day by day,
therefore
, there is a belief that the usage of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 will
be disappear
Change the verb form
disappear
show examples
. I do not agree with
this
 perspective because there are some strong arguments for reading paper publications.
Firstly
, accessing
internet
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the internet
show examples
 is not adequate for all
region
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regions
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 in the world,
as a result
,
people
 are reading
newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
 continuously.
Moreover
, reading paper publications
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more convenient than e-reading,
therefore
,
people
 prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traditional
media
such
 as
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
magazine
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magazines
show examples
.
For example
, in Mongolia, one of three populations still
order
Correct subject-verb agreement
orders
show examples
 daily
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 in these days, which means the usage of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 is not diminishing compared to the past.
According to
 the research,
people
 enjoy
to
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apply
show examples
reading
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 reading and survey attendants of
this
 research said that reading
newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of relaxation, as they use too
much
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many
show examples
 digital technologies for their daily
life
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lives
show examples
such
 as cell
phone
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phones
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 and tablets.
Secondly
, it is true that the number of
internet
 users is increasing and news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 broad,
however
, one big aspect of
media
 is reliability, accessing all news from
internet
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the internet
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not credible because everyone can publish anything
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
.
Hence
, the issues around
mis-information
Correct your spelling
misinformation
 are arising,
therefore
,
people
 still prefer to read newspapers because professional journalists and editors prepare those journalistic materials.
For example
, news in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 can be produced by anyone and it can be fake information.
To conclude
,
while
 the number of
internet
 users is increasing,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional publications
such
 as newspapers are still depicted as a main source of
media
 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 reliability and convenience.
Submitted by zulzayanyamkhu on

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logical structure
Enhance the logical structuring of your essay. While your main points are understandable, ensuring a more seamless flow would benefit the overall coherence. Using clear paragraph transitions and linking phrases could better guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Maintain consistency in your introduction and conclusion. Your introduction sets up the debate well but could be more explicit in stating your stance. Likewise, your conclusion should more assertively reinforce your viewpoint, ensuring alignment with the introductory statement.
supported main points
While your main points are supported, enriching them with a broader range of examples and more intricate explanations could strengthen your argument. This includes delving deeper into the implications of each point and integrating a wider array of evidence or perspectives.
complete response
Aim for a more complete response by addressing the statement's implications more broadly. Consider examining potential future impacts or elaborating on the societal or cultural significance. This may involve speculating on changes over time or comparing with historical trends.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your core ideas further. Each paragraph introduces noteworthy thoughts, but some need more elaboration or clarity. It's beneficial to revise for conciseness where necessary, ensuring that every sentence contributes directly to your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your use of specific examples, like the situation in Mongolia, effectively supports your argument. To enhance this further, consider including a more diverse range of examples from different contexts or incorporating statistical data, studies, or authoritative sources where relevant. This would bolster the persuasiveness of your claims.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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