IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In
fast-paced
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the fast-paced
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 digital era,
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internet
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the internet
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 is becoming more popular day by day,
therefore
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, there is a belief that the usage of
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 will
be disappear
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disappear
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. I do not agree with
this
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 perspective because there are some strong arguments for reading paper publications.
Firstly
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, accessing
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internet
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the internet
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 is not adequate for all
region
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regions
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 in the world,
as a result
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,
people
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 are reading
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 continuously.
Moreover
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, reading paper publications
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more convenient than e-reading,
therefore
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,
people
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 prefer
to
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apply
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traditional
media
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such
Linking Words
 as
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
magazine
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magazines
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.
For example
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, in Mongolia, one of three populations still
order
Correct subject-verb agreement
orders
show examples
 daily
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newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
 in these days, which means the usage of
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 is not diminishing compared to the past.
According to
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 the research,
people
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 enjoy
to
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apply
show examples
reading
physical
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physically
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 reading and survey attendants of
this
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 research said that reading
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newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
 is
kind
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a kind
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 of relaxation, as they use too
much
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many
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 digital technologies for their daily
life
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lives
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such
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 as cell
phone
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phones
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 and tablets.
Secondly
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, it is true that the number of
internet
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 users is increasing and news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 broad,
however
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, one big aspect of
media
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 is reliability, accessing all news from
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not credible because everyone can publish anything
at
Change preposition
on
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 the
internet
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.
Hence
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, the issues around
mis-information
Correct your spelling
misinformation
 are arising,
therefore
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,
people
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 still prefer to read newspapers because professional journalists and editors prepare those journalistic materials.
For example
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, news in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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 can be produced by anyone and it can be fake information.
To conclude
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,
while
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 the number of
internet
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 users is increasing,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional publications
such
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 as newspapers are still depicted as a main source of
media
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 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 reliability and convenience.

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logical structure
Enhance the logical structuring of your essay. While your main points are understandable, ensuring a more seamless flow would benefit the overall coherence. Using clear paragraph transitions and linking phrases could better guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Maintain consistency in your introduction and conclusion. Your introduction sets up the debate well but could be more explicit in stating your stance. Likewise, your conclusion should more assertively reinforce your viewpoint, ensuring alignment with the introductory statement.
supported main points
While your main points are supported, enriching them with a broader range of examples and more intricate explanations could strengthen your argument. This includes delving deeper into the implications of each point and integrating a wider array of evidence or perspectives.
complete response
Aim for a more complete response by addressing the statement's implications more broadly. Consider examining potential future impacts or elaborating on the societal or cultural significance. This may involve speculating on changes over time or comparing with historical trends.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your core ideas further. Each paragraph introduces noteworthy thoughts, but some need more elaboration or clarity. It's beneficial to revise for conciseness where necessary, ensuring that every sentence contributes directly to your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your use of specific examples, like the situation in Mongolia, effectively supports your argument. To enhance this further, consider including a more diverse range of examples from different contexts or incorporating statistical data, studies, or authoritative sources where relevant. This would bolster the persuasiveness of your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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