Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different views about whether what kids see on
TV
has some effect on their behaviour or whether how much
time
they spend watching it is influential to their manner.
While
some agree that the period of
time
is more influential, I believe that the subject of
TV
programs
will have more impact on
children
's morality.
This
essay will discuss both ideas. On the one hand, it is undeniable that
children
spend most of their quality
time
watching
TV
instead
of learning something beneficial for their life. They do not realise that
this
amount of
TV
watching could prevent them from new skills they need to learn.
Additionally
, it could be harmful to their health both physically and mentally,
for example
, their eyesight will be damaged or they will be nervous as their brains are not ready to watch too much
TV
and will start to send them signals of anger. So, it is parents' responsibility to watch out for the
time
they waste watching
TV
.
On the other hand
, it is generally acknowledged that every program is prepared for a certain age range, so
children
must not be allowed to watch improper
programs
regarding their age. Its bad effects on their behaviour will be observed some years later.
Moreover
, some
programs
have sexual scenes which are not appropriate for kids to watch as they may be struggling with premature puberty.
Also
, dangerous scenes can influence their mental health. It can be
therefore
argued that the subjects of
programs
children
watch on
TV
will change their behavior. In conclusion, what
children
see on
TV
will directly have an impact on their manner.
Although
some individuals think the period of watching
TV
is influencing
children
's morality, I am of the opinion that the type of
TV
program they watch will have more effects on their manners.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Relevant Specific Examples
Include a broader range of specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can enhance the relevance and depth of your discussion.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly. Aim for simplicity and clarity in your language to ensure that your point is easily understood.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence, try to link your ideas more smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly.
General
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and strive for a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: