Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #television #influences #behavior #amount #time

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People have different views about whether what kids see on

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has some effect on their behaviour or whether how much

time

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they spend watching it is influential to their manner.

While

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some agree that the period of

time

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is more influential, I believe that the subject of

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programs

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will have more impact on

children

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's morality.

This

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essay will discuss both ideas. On the one hand, it is undeniable that

children

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spend most of their quality

time

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watching

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instead

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of learning something beneficial for their life. They do not realise that

this

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amount of

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watching could prevent them from new skills they need to learn.

Additionally

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, it could be harmful to their health both physically and mentally,

for example

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, their eyesight will be damaged or they will be nervous as their brains are not ready to watch too much

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and will start to send them signals of anger. So, it is parents' responsibility to watch out for the

time

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they waste watching

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On the other hand

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, it is generally acknowledged that every program is prepared for a certain age range, so

children

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must not be allowed to watch improper

programs

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regarding their age. Its bad effects on their behaviour will be observed some years later.

Moreover

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, some

programs

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have sexual scenes which are not appropriate for kids to watch as they may be struggling with premature puberty.

Also

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, dangerous scenes can influence their mental health. It can be

therefore

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argued that the subjects of

programs

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children

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watch on

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will change their behavior. In conclusion, what

children

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see on

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will directly have an impact on their manner.

Although

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some individuals think the period of watching

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is influencing

children

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's morality, I am of the opinion that the type of

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program they watch will have more effects on their manners.

Submitted by keyhan454 on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Relevant Specific Examples

Include a broader range of specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can enhance the relevance and depth of your discussion.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Work on presenting your ideas more clearly. Aim for simplicity and clarity in your language to ensure that your point is easily understood.

Logical Structure

To improve coherence, try to link your ideas more smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly.

General

Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and strive for a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summerize the infromation by selecting and reporting the mainfeatures and make comparision where relevant.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend in Vietnam towards adopting Western architectural styles in residential housing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of taking up a new hobby?

In some countries, there has been increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh this disadvantages?