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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
People
 from the countryside move to big
cities
 these days in almost every nation, which is leading to a considerable drop in the rate of rural
people
’s
population
. There are many reasons behind
this
 situation, and,
although
 it has both positive and negative effects, I believe that the positive outweighs the negative.
To begin
 with, moving to modern
cities
 has several negative impacts on the city and local
people
.
Firstly
, increasing the
population
 contributes to the insufficient accommodation issue offered by the city.
This
 may cause a significant increase in the prices of apartment rental charges and the prices of houses.
Secondly
, a higher
population
further
 enhances the usage of vehicles, which is leading to the air pollution issue bigger in modern
cities
. At the same time, decreasing the
population
 in rural areas may cause a lack of human resources in different kinds of offices and schools.
On the other hand
, there is a wide range of benefits that can be gained from moving to big
cities
.
People
 tend to transfer to obtain a better quality of life in various areas
such
 as education, work, careers, and healthcare. The majority of
people
 who have children are willing to move for
avbetter
Correct your spelling
a better
better
 education system available in
cities
 when compared to the country’s outskirts. For employees, a bunch of work opportunities appeal to them to upgrade their living standards and careers. Meanwhile, looking at the employers’ perspectives, obtaining a variety of resources
such
 as skilful labour is likely to be advantageous for them. After consideration of all these aspects, I think moving to modern
cities
 would offer a better quality of life for
people
,
that is
 why the benefits are probably greater than the drawbacks in that situation.
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, especially when discussing the positive impacts of moving to cities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear separation between the pros and cons in separate paragraphs for enhanced cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with reasons, making the arguments convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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