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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Experts should beware of the consequences of a harmful lifestyle. Despite this warning, most people have already become addicted to the same types of activities. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle this problem

Experts should
beware
Correct your spelling
be aware
show examples
 of the consequences of a harmful lifestyle. Despite
this
Linking Words
 warning, most
people
Use synonyms
 have already become addicted to the same types of activities.
This
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 essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle
this
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 problem.There are different causes to explain
this
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 issue.
This
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 can be,
firstly
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, explained by the fact that many
people
Use synonyms
 are so engrossed in their
work
Use synonyms
 that they spend most of their time on their job in order to be hard workers and forget their sedentary lifestyle.
For example
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, many
people
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work
Use synonyms
 more than 8 hours per day. They cannot,
as a result
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, balance their
work
Use synonyms
 and life, which causes some illnesses.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 with smoking habits find it difficult to give up
due to
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 their addictiveness.
For instance
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, most smokers have a dependence on
cigarettas
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
, and stopping these unsound exercises seemed not to be straightforward for them.To solve
this
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 problem, solutions are given below. One of which is that a healthy lifestyle should be taught to
people
Use synonyms
 who continue to do some kind of bad activity, including useful actions. Doing physical activities helps them boost their immune system, which prevents them from becoming
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
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.
Furthermore
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, companies increase bonuses in order to earn the salaries of satisfied employees.
This
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 is the best way to reduce
people
Use synonyms
's desire for money.In conclusion,
although
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 passion for
work
Use synonyms
 and addictiveness result in
staying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bad habits continuously, well-educating and supporting
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 extra money are suitable patterns to address
this
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 agenda.

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task achievement
Focus on providing clear and detailed examples that specifically illustrate each point. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay's flow and clarity by linking paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly. Consider using a broader range of transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the connection between causes, effects, and solutions by explicitly stating how each solution addresses a specific cause or effect. This improves the logical structure of your essay and helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
general
Revise your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrases as they can detract from the overall quality and clarity of your argument. Consider using a tool or seek feedback from peers to identify and correct these issues.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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