IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Developing
people’s
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lives
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 should be the most crucial objective of
science
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.
This
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 essay agrees that enhancing
people’s
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 living
conditions
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 and well-being should be the first important goal of scientists since they can offer various solutions and advancements including enhancing healthcare and addressing
to
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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global
issues
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such
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 as
climate
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change
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 and
pollution
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. One of the primary reasons scientists should prioritize
people’s
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 well-being is to enhance healthcare and hospital
conditions
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. Health is the most important aspect of
people’s
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lives
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 and without good health, no anyone can truly be happy. That’s to say, some hospital’s
conditions
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 and utilized technologies aren’t so good,
that’s
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and that’s
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 why they need several enhancements by
science
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.
For example
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, especially in villages, hospitals
have
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do have
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 not any modern technology to cure people or to find diseases. So, people are dying in villages or suffering from different health
issues
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due to
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 a lack of scientific enhancements and upgrades. Solving these problems can even lead to increased happiness and peace for people.
In addition
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,
science
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 should give attention to
the
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apply
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people’s
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lives
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, because it can address and solve some global
issues
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such
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 as
climate
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change
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 or
pollution
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 in all around the world. In recent days,
pollution
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 and
climate
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change
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 not only harm human
lives
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 damage all creatures in forests and oceans. These can lead to a lack of water resources and wildfires, which threaten life and may destroy
ecosystem
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ecosystems
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.
For instance
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, at the beginning of 2025, in Hollywood, USA, all the forests were surrounded by
the
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apply
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uncontrolled fires
due to
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climate
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change
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. To prevent these
issues
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,
science
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 should focus on studying and addressing these global
issues
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. By addressing these problems,
science
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 can help to save humanity and the ecosystem. In conclusion, improving
people’s
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 living
conditions
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 and well-being should be the
science
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’s top priority, as
this
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 leads to better healthcare systems, improved
conditions
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 in hospitals and addressing
to
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apply
show examples
global
issues
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 including
pollution
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 and
climate
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change
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.
Science
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 has a vital role in protecting humanity and the ecosystem by tackling these concerns

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging to draw in the reader. Consider providing a broader context about the role of science before stating your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure clarity in your main points by organizing them more distinctly. For instance, you might include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to use concise language throughout your essay. For instance, the phrase 'no anyone can truly be happy' can be simplified to 'no one can truly be happy.'
task achievement
Expand on your examples, especially the one about Hollywood in 2025. Presenting a source or more details would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, demonstrating a strong understanding of the importance of science in improving lives.
task achievement
The use of real-world issues, such as healthcare advancements and climate change, makes your argument relatable and relevant.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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