IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these points of view and give your own opinion.

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A group of individuals have the view that it is better to focus doctors, engineers and
another expert
Fix the agreement mistake
other experts
show examples
 to stay and work in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they gained their skills. Others think that it is better to work in another
country
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, Professional workers argue that those who pursue their career in preferable subjects can lead to their chosen
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some individuals think that it can get more money and skills to study abroad and
also
Linking Words
 think that it would be better for future careers.
besides
Linking Words
 that, working in another
country
Use synonyms
 can prevent our
country
Use synonyms
's name, society and
also
Linking Words
 image. I believe that
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 should be better to work in another
country
Use synonyms
 because it is their own choice.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Some people think that we focus on our careers that benefit to own
country
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because we can attention to the
country
Use synonyms
's individual
as well as
Linking Words
 the national economy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an important source of education
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be given to the
country
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for our future generations.
For example
Linking Words
, the government should attention to skilled workers in the
country
Use synonyms
 and what they want to do, and put some regulations for those folks.
Although
Linking Words
, They can be focused on developing cities and
convergation
Correct your spelling
conversation
 to their increasing taxes which is borden to each person. In conclusion, Each individual should have the right to choose in their life, where they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to go or not.
In addition
Linking Words
, sometimes they can generate a few difficulties in their own life.

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introduction
Work on developing a more structured introduction that clearly outlines your stance and previews the main points you will discuss. This will help the reader understand your position and the flow of your essay better.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to introduce these. This structure guides the reader through your argument more effectively.
cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. However, ensure these are used appropriately and do not disrupt the natural flow of your writing.
supporting details
Expand on your examples to fully illustrate your points. Whenever you present a point of view or an argument, back it up with more detailed examples or evidence to strengthen your essay.
task response
To improve your response to the task, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt equally. This includes discussing both views presented in the topic and providing a detailed explanation of your own stance.
detail
Avoid generalizations and strive to make your arguments more specific. This specificity will add depth to your essay and make your points more convincing.
grammar
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
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