IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

You have reccently moved to another city but your bank has your address and continues to send all the communicitain there. Wirte a letter to your bank Branch.In this letter mention: -Where have you moved? -What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communicitain? -What do you want them to do regarding old communicitain already sent to the wrong address?

#city #bank #address #communicitain #wirte #branch #-where #-what
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is that
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of the fact that I have moved
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Toshkent, my
bank
 still has my old
address
 and
continuous
Replace the word
continues
show examples
 to send all the
communicitain
Correct your spelling
communication
. I want
communicitains
Correct your spelling
communications
send
Add the particle
to send
show examples
 to my new
address
. I moved
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of my work situation. On 16 March 2023, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
moved to another city namely in Tashkent. After I moved to my new
address
, My
bank
communicitain
Correct your spelling
communications
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 being sent to my old
address
that is
, the
address
 in Kashkadarya.The
bank
 staff did not know my new
address
 and sent
Correct article usage
a communicitain
show examples
communicitain
Correct your spelling
communication
 to the old
address
. Please forward all the
communicitain
Correct your spelling
communication
 sent to my old
address
 to my new
address
. I think
bank
 staff do not make
such
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 anymore. Thanking you, Yours sincerely, Absattorov Jamshid
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you answer all parts of the prompt fully. You addressed the main points but could add more specifics, such as mentioning any particular communications (e.g., statements, alerts) you're missing, to further clarify the impact.
coherence cohesion
Increase cohesion by better organizing your ideas. Use paragraphs to separate different points; introduce your move and problem, then explain what issues this has caused, and finally, clearly state your requests to the bank.
coherence cohesion
For a better structure, include a brief introduction and a more formal closure. Begin by briefly stating the purpose of your letter. End with a polite request for a confirmation of address change to ensure action is taken.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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