In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is commonly seen in many parts of the world
children
Correct word choice
that children
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are told to put
maximum
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in maximum
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efforts
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effort
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to get whatever they want.
This
essay will describe both the positive and negative sides of
this
thought. The two main advantages of encouraging
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children
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child
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children
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for trying
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to try
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hard are developing self-confidence and becoming successful.
Firstly
, if it is possible to make a youth that nothing is impossible in
this
world and anything can be gained by putting
enough
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in enough
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dedication,
then
self-confidence will grow.
This
self-confidence can lead someone to earn good things in the future.
Secondly
, saying multiple times about hard
endeavor
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endeavour
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makes a youngster
to
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apply
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set a definite goal
in to
Join the words
into
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his life. By setting the right goal, it is easy for someone to plan properly about
career
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a career
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and
possible
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possibly
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to
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apply
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act in the right direction.
For example
, most of the successful persons in
this
world
could
Verb problem
are
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able to reach their destination because of their hand job. Always pushing for hard effort has some disadvantages like mental stress and drop-out
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at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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early
ages
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age
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. It is too early for a youth to understand the term achievement, which always
brings
Verb problem
puts
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child
Correct article usage
a child
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under pressure.
For Instance
, Presently, it is found that a large number of underage people are suffering from various mental and Physical problems.
Moreover
, more expectation often leads to drop-out from the primary stage of education. Failing in the achievement creates criticism in the society, which reads to activity live suicide.
To conclude
,
although
asking to work hand has some good
impact
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impacts
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over
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on
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a
teenage
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teenager
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like
confident
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confidence
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& boost in life,
however
, it has
few
Correct article usage
a few
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bad influences
such
as mental disorders & end of a prospective career.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction more clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Include a thesis statement that summarizes the main advantages and disadvantages you plan to discuss.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly and clearly. For instance, instead of simply listing advantages and disadvantages, try to show a more complex relationship between them using phrases like 'although', 'despite', or 'whereas'.
task achievement
Support your points with more detailed and specific examples. Generalizations about 'successful persons' and 'underage people' need to be supported by specific, real-world examples or statistics to be compelling.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay to correct grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. For example, 'This essay will describe' can be rephrased as 'This essay will explore', and 'asking to work hand' should be 'asking to work hard'. Consistent use of correct English will greatly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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