Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Children are the most powerful asset of the nation . Children are pliable and it is our responsibility to mould them properly so that they can lead a well-settled Lifestyle . For a bright future physical health is as important as education . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion a colossal number of folks claim that parents should encourage their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
to
spending
Change the verb form
spend
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more time doing physical activities rather than
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
standing
all day
while
on the contrary
many communities believe students should spend their spare time
while
studying .
This
assertion seems pretty controversial across the globe. In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
proffer examples to justify my notion.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
Your essay introduction sets a strong foundation for the topic. Try to clearly state your opinion here to provide a clearer direction for your argument.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will enhance clarity and persuasion of your argument.
coherence & cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or reasons. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence & cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This also helps in connecting ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively introduces the topic and presents a balanced viewpoint on the issue.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an attempt to create logical structure, but focusing on clearer paragraphing can enhance understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
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