Many manufacturd food and drinks contain high levels of sugar,which causes many health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive o encourage peopleto consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#manufacturd #food #drinks #levels #sugar #health #products #peopleto

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In recent years, some manufactured food, snacks and drinks contain high levels of fat and cholesterol.

However

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, many

people

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think that the

government

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should handle

this

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problem and warn

people

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about how sugary

products

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are very dangerous to their

health

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and

also

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they should raise the price of these

products

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This

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essay agrees with

this

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idea because these

products

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lead to serious

health

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problems and explaining

this

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to citizens helps us become a healthy nation. The authorities should warn

people

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about processed foods or beverages because they might cause several chronic illnesses

such

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as diabetes and pancreatic cancer

due to

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what these

products

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contain.

Moreover

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, it is essential

government

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to focus on especially educating parents about children’s

health

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and the negative side effects that

products

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can have on children’s brains and bodies.

For instance

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, Japan has the highest rate of healthy children because there are many courses for parents teaching them about children’s

health

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and what the best diet for children is.

However

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, there are a number of nutrition experts on social media platforms which are

also

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supported by the

government

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that promote the importance of eating healthy food and

also

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the dangers of eating processed food.

Additionally

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, that encourages

people

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to stop eating them after they know

this

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information, I believe that the authorities should

also

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raise the price of these kinds of

products

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and impose high taxes on those companies, which eventually ensures that

people

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do not buy them.

For example

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, in China the proportion of candy sales is very low because the

government

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has increased the price of candy and no one can purchase them so parents replace them with fruits. In conclusion, processed foods are very hazardous

products

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and have high levels of sugar and fat which cause serious diseases I,

therefore

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believe that the

government

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should make sugary foods and drinks expensive

as well as

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spread awareness among

people

Use synonyms

about these

products

Use synonyms

Submitted by ghazl.1998g on Tue Oct 08 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure clarity of ideas through avoiding repetition and streamlining sentences. Although the ideas presented are comprehensive, some sections can be more concise for better readability and to maintain a strong focus on the main argument.

logical structure

Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Consider adding more linking phrases to guide the reader seamlessly through the arguments.

introduction conclusion present

You successfully introduced the topic in the opening paragraph and concluded with a clear opinion, which strengthens your argument overall.

relevant specific examples

There are relevant, specific examples provided that enhance the argument and provide real-world context, such as the examples of policies in Japan and China.

supported main points

The main points are generally well-supported, especially when it comes to explaining the potential health issues linked to sugar consumption and government intervention.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufactured food and drinks
high levels of sugar
health problems
sugary products
consume less sugar
public health benefits
obesity rates
diabetes and heart disease
behavioral economics
healthier alternatives
economic implications
generate additional revenue
consumer freedom
dietary choices
socioeconomic impact
low-income individuals
education and awareness
financial penalties

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Many manufacturd food and drinks contain high levels of sugar,which causes many health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive o encourage peopleto consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. however, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinion about this subject?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't. what's your opinion?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?