Many manufacturd food and drinks contain high levels of sugar,which causes many health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive o encourage peopleto consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, some manufactured food, snacks and drinks contain high levels of fat and cholesterol.
However
, many people
think that the government
should handle this
problem and warn people
about how sugary products
are very dangerous to their health
and also
they should raise the price of these products
. This
essay agrees with this
idea because these products
lead to serious health
problems and explaining this
to citizens helps us become a healthy nation.
The authorities should warn people
about processed foods or beverages because they might cause several chronic illnesses such
as diabetes and pancreatic cancer due to
what these products
contain. Moreover
, it is essential government
to focus on especially educating parents about children’s health
and the negative side effects that products
can have on children’s brains and bodies. For instance
, Japan has the highest rate of healthy children because there are many courses for parents teaching them about children’s health
and what the best diet for children is.
However
, there are a number of nutrition experts on social media platforms which are also
supported by the government
that promote the importance of eating healthy food and also
the dangers of eating processed food. Additionally
, that encourages people
to stop eating them after they know this
information, I believe that the authorities should also
raise the price of these kinds of products
and impose high taxes on those companies, which eventually ensures that people
do not buy them. For example
, in China the proportion of candy sales is very low because the government
has increased the price of candy and no one can purchase them so parents replace them with fruits.
In conclusion, processed foods are very hazardous products
and have high levels of sugar and fat which cause serious diseases I, therefore
believe that the government
should make sugary foods and drinks expensive as well as
spread awareness among people
about these products
.Submitted by ghazl.1998g on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure clarity of ideas through avoiding repetition and streamlining sentences. Although the ideas presented are comprehensive, some sections can be more concise for better readability and to maintain a strong focus on the main argument.
logical structure
Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Consider adding more linking phrases to guide the reader seamlessly through the arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You successfully introduced the topic in the opening paragraph and concluded with a clear opinion, which strengthens your argument overall.
relevant specific examples
There are relevant, specific examples provided that enhance the argument and provide real-world context, such as the examples of policies in Japan and China.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported, especially when it comes to explaining the potential health issues linked to sugar consumption and government intervention.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!