IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. -write a letter to the company. In your letter •Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sport team •Summaries the benefits of paying for the concerts •Say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #-write #•describe #sport #•summaries #•say
Dear Sir, I
informed
Add a missing verb
was informed
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 by my friend that your company want to
support
children 's
Correct article usage
a children 's
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 sports
team
 or
support
 two concerts in
Correct article usage
the open-air
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open-air
Correct your spelling
open air
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. At
first,
I
so
Add a missing verb
was so
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 excited to hear
this
 news and I wish the best for your
team
 in
this
 way. T first you should search on many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
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 and
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 the best
team
 to
support
 . In fact, when you
sponser
Correct your spelling
sponsor
 children's
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
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 you boost the
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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 between them and foster
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 generation for the future. On one hand, you can
make
Verb problem
pay
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 attention indirectly to your company. But, paying for concerts is more
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 from sport.
On the other hand
, you can invest
on
Change preposition
in
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 culture and be seen by more people than ever. Namely, you
support
 two bands they become popular in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,
that is
 the
besst
Correct your spelling
best
 way
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 known in any place. I am so proud
to
Change preposition
of
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 myself because of
soft-hearted
Correct article usage
the soft-hearted
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 man in
this
 company
and
Correct word choice
who
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 wants to help society . best wishes amir
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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logical structure
Ensure a clear structure in your letter that includes an introduction, body paragraphs each dedicated to a specific aspect of the topic, and a conclusion. Maintain logical flow between ideas.
greeting and closing
Use appropriate greetings at the start and polite closings at the end of your letter, adjusting based on the formality of the letter. In your case, consider a more formal salutation and closing.
single idea per paragraph
To improve coherence, use transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. This helps in guiding the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
complete response
To fully respond to the task, make sure to address all parts of the prompt significantly. Include detailed reasons for your recommendations and expand on the benefits of each option.
suitable writing tone
Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. Given the formal nature of the task, avoid colloquial language and strive for a balance between formal and engaging.
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