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Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
People have different opinions about the most important issue related to our environment.
While
 some argue that the extinction of some
species
 is vital, others believe that there are other matters which should be considered urgently. In my opinion, the loss of
species
 is very crucial and must be taken into consideration with a high priority. Human activities in several ways, pose a threat to the environment and especially to particular
species
.
Firstly
, cutting down trees, either in order to make way for roads and railways or to meet the increasing demand for wood in today’s fashionable architectural plans, has destroyed the habitats of many rare birds, insects and animals.
Secondly
, the increasing number of factories and industrialised zones brings about more contamination in rivers and causes irreparable damage to sea and river creatures.
Finally
, urbanisation and the development of cities, in the form of emissions and exhaust fumes, lead to high levels of air pollution.
Consequently
, the population of more
species
 is becoming eliminated. From a biological poi­nt of view, our planet serves as a home for all living creatures and is a constant cycle of
life
. Plants,animals and humans are the sections of a whole ecosystem that are dependent on each other. If an external factor poses a threat to just one part of
this
life
 cycle, all other parts may not be protected from danger to their
life
.
Therefore
, the
life
 of each particular
species
 is as important as others
such
 as human beings. In conclusion,
whereas
 there is a debate on the most vital matter associated with the environment, I believe that the subject of endangered
species
 population is a decisive factor in
this
 regard.
Submitted by maede.shabani on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more specific examples or data. While your essay touches upon important points, incorporating detailed examples can further strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively by ensuring there's a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use transitional phrases to better connect your points and guide the reader through your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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