Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that it should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
government
funding should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
not to be used to
support
art
and
culture
while
other's opinions say that
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
support
for cultural activities has a positive impact on the population and
culture
. I believe that supporting
art
and
culture
through
government
funding would help the nation to protect our
art
and
culture
.
Firstly
, many positive impacts would happen if the
arts
and
culture
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
supported through
government
funding. The local citizen would preserve their own
art
and
culture
which is important for the young generation. So, the next generation would still have the opportunity to learn and know their cultural
arts
and identity.
For instance
, The Amercan-Indian lost their
arts
and
culture
due to
no
support
given by the
Government
.
Moreover
, the other positive impact is our
art
and
culture
would go overseas which would increase our economy.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
implaying
Correct your spelling
implying
playing
this
thing is not easy there are lot
evidence
Change preposition
of evidence
show examples
that shows that many countries already made their
arts
and
culture
go international.
For example
in South Korea, we all know that South Korea was not only successful in promoting its
art
and
culture
but
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
did very well in increasing its economy by managing its
art
and
culture
.
Finally
, the
government
has the
capabilities
Fix the agreement mistake
capability
show examples
to decide which moves are great for the nation and its cultures. By their regulations and policies, the
arts
and
culture
in society could be protected and well managed to gain the economics and give benefits through the
government
programs. To the conclusion, the
art
and
culture
are essential for a country.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
country that does not
support
their own
arts
and
culture
would bring them to the end of their identities. So, providing the
arts
and
culture
with
government
funds would help to preserve the
arts
and
culture
of a country that in the future will bring
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact on the economic scale of the nation.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay includes distinct and clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a specific purpose, with the introduction setting the stage, the body paragraphs providing arguments and evidence, and the conclusion summarizing your position.
coherence
To improve coherence, make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Use linking words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'However,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument.
cohesion
To increase cohesion, develop a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your argument. Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that directly relates to this thesis and is further explained and supported within the paragraph.
task response
Fully address the task by discussing both viewpoints before giving your opinion. Clearly distinguish between the arguments for and against government funding in arts and culture, and ensure your personal standpoint is prominent and well-supported by reasons and examples.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Specific, real-world examples will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid generalizations by providing more details about the examples mentioned, such as the impacts on society or economy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: