IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. What is the effect of this on individuals ans society? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #products #effect #individuals #ans #society #development
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In recent years, the tendency of individuals
buying
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to buy
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 unnecessary industrial
goods
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is
Wrong verb form
has become
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 increasingly prevalent
among
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
This
Linking Words
 trend has afflicted individual's wealth
ans
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and
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middle
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middle-class
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class
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 financial
statement
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statements
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.
However
Linking Words
, the writer contends that the cult is a positive development because of the constitution of societal equality. It
it
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is
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 important to acknowledge that
people
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 buying unessential manufactured
goods
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 has certain consequences in reference to economic aspects. To explain in more
details
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detail
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, if individuals keep buying expensive industrial gadgets and items, their monetary outcome will definitely surpass their standard income and cause evitably credit debts.
As a result
Linking Words
,
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middle
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middle-class
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class
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people
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 who
constitue
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constitute
 the majority of
the
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apply
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society are afflicted by the consumerism-driven trend and will succumb to
detrimentally
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detrimental
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 financial
statement
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statements
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 despite their relatively high incomes.
Nevertheless
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, over-buying
goods
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 can
also
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 benefit the
overall
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 welfare of citizens. Despite negative effects on
individually
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individual
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 monetary sides, the tendency will provide considerable revenues for
goverments
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governments
government
 and companies through taxes and levies relating to shopping.
Hence
Linking Words
, governments
ans
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and
 companies are likely to conduct more charities and fund
for
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apply
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economic policies which aim at helping
low
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low-class
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class
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people
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 and bridging the social gap.
For example
Linking Words
,
researches
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research
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 from America's historical
instution
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institution
institutions
have
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has
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 revealed that there has been an increase in
te
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the
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 number of
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middle
Add a hyphen
middle-class
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class
Use synonyms
people
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 and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 in
Correct article usage
the low
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low
Add a hyphen
low-class
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class
Use synonyms
 one since the
consumerism's
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consumerism
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 outbreak. Taking all points into account,
people
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 over-buying unnecessary manufactured
goods
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 has adverse impacts on
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middle
Add a hyphen
middle-class
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class
Use synonyms
 individual's fiscal welfare.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tendency is an advantageous development for the world because it promotes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equality in societal classes.
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task achievement
Ensure you clearly discuss both the positive and negative impacts of the issue on individuals and society, making sure to directly address the question throughout your essay. Providing a balanced view or a clear stance with supporting arguments will help improve this criterion.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring paragraphs have a clear central idea that is expanded upon cohesively. Using linking words and phrases effectively will also improve the reader's understanding of the logical flow of your text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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