IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. W hy is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, businesses have increasingly
emphasized
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emphasised
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 the novelty of their
products
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 in advertising.
This
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 strategy is driven by consumer psychology and market competition. People are naturally attracted to new and improved
products
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 because they associate “new” with better quality or advanced features.
Moreover
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, in highly competitive markets, companies use
this
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 emphasis on newness to differentiate their
products
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 and capture consumer attention.
For instance
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, tech companies like Apple release updated versions of their devices annually, highlighting small improvements to encourage
consumers
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 to upgrade frequently.
While
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this
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 trend can be seen as positive because it drives innovation and offers
consumers
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 more advanced or diverse options, it
also
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 has significant drawbacks. One major issue is that the constant push for newness encourages overconsumption.
Consumers
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 often replace perfectly functional
products
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 simply because a newer version is available, leading to unnecessary waste and environmental damage. The fashion industry is a prime example, where fast fashion brands release new collections constantly, prompting excessive purchasing and contributing to pollution and landfill problems.
Furthermore
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, advertising newness can sometimes be misleading.
Products
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 may be marketed as “new” or “improved” when, in reality, changes are minor or cosmetic.
This
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 can deceive
consumers
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 and foster a culture of materialism focused on novelty rather than quality or sustainability. In conclusion,
while
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 the emphasis on new
products
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 can promote technological advancement and satisfy consumer desires for innovation, it
also
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 encourages wasteful consumption and environmental harm.
Therefore
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, both businesses and
consumers
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 should strive for a balance by focusing on genuine innovation and sustainable purchasing habits rather than simply chasing the latest trends.

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task achievement
Add more examples or details to support your main points about environmental impact and consumer behavior.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to show the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction
The introduction sets a clear context and presents the topic well.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and gives a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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