Some people believe that sports create peace in world. Do you agree or disagree with ?

#people #sports #peace #world

A group of people contend that

sports

bring

peace

to the world. In my opinion,

sports

play a vital role in promoting

peace

Conversely

, others think

sports

can bring about several problems for nations. It is my view that

sports

lead to understanding and tolerance and promote it and these factors have a positive effect on society and create

peace

Sports

bring people from different backgrounds, cultures, and nations together in a spirit of camaraderie and competition. By participating in

sports

or watching games, individuals can gain a better understanding of others and foster tolerance and mutual respect.

In addition

sports

can reduce social tension.

Sports

have the potential to divert attention away from social tensions, political disputes, and economic hardship which leads to a sense of unity among diverse populations.

In contrast

, some people claim that

while

sports

have the potential to contribute to

peace

-building efforts, there are

also

several reasons why they may not always succeed in creating

peace

in the world. First is limited scope,

while

sports

cooperation and understanding among individuals and communities often have limited impact on addressing deep-rooted political, social, and economic issues that underlie conflicts.

Moreover

sports

alone cannot resolve geopolitical disputes or structural inequalities that fuel conflict. By the way of conclusion, sporting events serve as moments of celebration and national pride, fostering a sense of belonging and solidarity.

Submitted by marzie.ghasemi98 on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses the question by clearly stating your position and supporting it with more specific and relevant examples. Expanding on how sports contribute to or detract from peace with clear, real-world examples will make your argument more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

For improved Coherence and Cohesion, consider more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is structured logically, supporting the overall argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fostering
unity
cross-cultural understanding
historical moments
political and cultural divides
nationalism
division
sports diplomacy
peacekeeping
diplomatic efforts
grassroots
community cohesion
prevent conflict

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Some people believe that sports create peace in world. Do you agree or disagree with ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your friend is thinking about learning to drive and would like some advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • say why a driving licence is advantageous • recommend a driving school • give any extra guidance/tips

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Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?