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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Write about the following topic Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #talent #societies #method #people #entertainment
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Nowadays,reality TV contests are becoming a typical method to entertain individuals.
Therefore
,a question was asked:"Are those televised competitions a good way to discover promising performers or it's purpose
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to satisfy viewer's boredom?" In my opinion,creating a competition to find individuals who
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 gifted is a good strategy.In fact,it is one of the best
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
 to uncover hidden talents.
Initially
,those televised
competions
Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
 will attract gifted artists from all over the world.Those competitors will be
competiting
Correct your spelling
competing
others
Change preposition
with others
show examples
 to find the most talented person.
This
 approach will help them to be recognized by the audience.
Subsequently
,performance-based programs are
also
 a given chance to those participants who are finding a job.By showing their talent,they might find a job that fits with their ability. Ultimately,reality TV contests are not only an amusement show but
also
 a place where gifted artists can show the world their
trueself
Correct your spelling
true self
.
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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Development of ideas
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples from real shows or personal experiences to strengthen your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Pay attention to making your introduction and conclusion more diverse, to more clearly define your stance and summarize your key points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words can improve the flow of your essay. Consider phrases that express contrast, addition, cause, and effect more clearly.
Clear Position
You have a clear stance and articulate it well, providing a firm base for your essay.
Original Example
You referenced the relevance of televised talent shows for employment opportunities, which is a unique and insightful point.
Logical Structure
The structure of your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion helped in making your essay cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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