Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
rapid
changing world, few Change the word
rapidly
people
can dedicate time
for
their Change preposition
to
hobby
. I think this
is because most people
have
not enough Add a missing verb
do have
time
for their hobby
, as they spend their
most Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
for
working, Change preposition
apply
moreover
, technological improvement affects in
Change preposition
apply
this
circumstances as well.
Correct determiner usage
these
First
reason Add an article
The first
can be
mentioned about Verb problem
apply
people
need to earn money for their life expenses, therefore
, most people
are usually busy at their workplace. Especially, if someone need
to spend extra hours to tackle their workloads during weekends. Change the verb form
needs
Therefore
, in their freetime
, most individuals prefer to sleep or be with their family members. In Correct your spelling
free time
this
case, few people
who Correct subject-verb agreement
are
is
single or Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Wrong verb form
have
having
financial freedom can dedicate Wrong verb form
have
time
Change preposition
to
for
their hobbies. Change preposition
to
For example
, according to
the
Harvard Correct article usage
apply
university
research, Capitalize word
University
well affordable
Add a hyphen
well-affordable
people
mostly spend their leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
for
their Change preposition
in
interested
field of sports, Correct word choice
apply
however
, less affordable people
reported that staying at home was the most chosen activity. The reason highlighted that
they do not want to spend money except for food and rent money.
Another reason can be Add a missing verb
is that
technological
improvement because it gives more opportunity to see the world through our Add an article
a technological
gadgeds
Correct your spelling
gadgets
while
staying on
Change preposition
in
the
bed. Correct article usage
apply
Instead
of devoting time
for
their Change preposition
to
hobby
or exploring their interests
Add a comma
interests,
people
prefer just lay
on their Wrong verb form
laying
bed
and scrolling social media. Take, Fix the agreement mistake
beds
for example
, comparing to a decade with
now, many children play basketball and other sports Correct word choice
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
the
outside and some of them developed their Correct article usage
apply
sport
skills as a Change the noun form
sports
hobby
. Nowadays, conversely
, most children want to play game
by using Fix the agreement mistake
games
smar phone
. It is hard to say that playing video Correct your spelling
smartphones
game
is a Fix the agreement mistake
games
hobby
that is
useful for them.
To conclude
, there are arising issue
within modern society related Fix the agreement mistake
issues
with
Change preposition
to
time
dedication for hobby
. Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
This
can be caused from
many reasons, but in my opinion, the main reasons are affected by our modern busy lifestyle and technological improvement.Change preposition
by
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task achievement
While your essay does a good job of presenting arguments and examples, it could benefit from a stronger introduction and conclusion. Begin with a clear statement of your position and conclude by summarizing your arguments succinctly.
coherence cohesion
To make your writing more reader-friendly, consider using transition words like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'in contrast.' These can guide the reader through your essay, making the progression of ideas smoother.
task achievement
You've done well to maintain a suitable tone throughout the essay, appropriate to the task. For improvement, consider varying sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to better demonstrate your English proficiency.
coherence cohesion
While your paragraphs have a clear focus, attempting to link them more explicitly could enhance the overall coherence. You can achieve this by referring back to previous points or anticipating what comes next at the end of each paragraph.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.