Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

Linking Words

rapid

Change the word

rapidly

show examples

changing world, few

people

Use synonyms

can dedicate

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

hobby

Use synonyms

. I think

this

Linking Words

is because most

people

Use synonyms

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not enough

time

Use synonyms

for their

hobby

Use synonyms

, as they spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

most

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working,

moreover

Linking Words

, technological improvement affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

circumstances as well.

First

Add an article

The first

show examples

reason

can be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mentioned about

people

Use synonyms

need to earn money for their life expenses,

therefore

Linking Words

, most

people

Use synonyms

are usually busy at their workplace. Especially, if someone

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to spend extra hours to tackle their workloads during weekends.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in their

freetime

Correct your spelling

free time

, most individuals prefer to sleep or be with their family members. In

this

Linking Words

case, few

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

single or

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

financial freedom can dedicate

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their hobbies.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Harvard

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

research,

well affordable

Add a hyphen

well-affordable

show examples

people

Use synonyms

mostly spend their

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

interested

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

field of sports,

however

Linking Words

, less affordable

people

Use synonyms

reported that staying at home was the most chosen activity. The reason highlighted

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

they do not want to spend money except for food and rent money. Another reason can be

technological

Add an article

a technological

show examples

improvement because it gives more opportunity to see the world through our

gadgeds

Correct your spelling

gadgets

while

Linking Words

staying

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bed.

Instead

Linking Words

of devoting

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

hobby

Use synonyms

or exploring their

interests

Add a comma

interests,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

prefer just

lay

Wrong verb form

laying

show examples

on their

bed

Fix the agreement mistake

beds

show examples

and scrolling social media. Take,

for example

Linking Words

, comparing to a decade

with

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

now, many children play basketball and other sports

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outside and some of them developed their

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

skills as a

hobby

Use synonyms

. Nowadays,

conversely

Linking Words

, most children want to play

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

by using

smar phone

Correct your spelling

smartphones

. It is hard to say that playing video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

is a

hobby

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

useful for them.

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are arising

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

within modern society related

with

Change preposition

show examples

time

Use synonyms

dedication for

Use synonyms

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

This

Linking Words

can be caused

from

Change preposition

show examples

many reasons, but in my opinion, the main reasons are affected by our modern busy lifestyle and technological improvement.

zulzayanyamkhuMon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

While your essay does a good job of presenting arguments and examples, it could benefit from a stronger introduction and conclusion. Begin with a clear statement of your position and conclude by summarizing your arguments succinctly.

coherence cohesion

To make your writing more reader-friendly, consider using transition words like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'in contrast.' These can guide the reader through your essay, making the progression of ideas smoother.

task achievement

You've done well to maintain a suitable tone throughout the essay, appropriate to the task. For improvement, consider varying sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to better demonstrate your English proficiency.

coherence cohesion

While your paragraphs have a clear focus, attempting to link them more explicitly could enhance the overall coherence. You can achieve this by referring back to previous points or anticipating what comes next at the end of each paragraph.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Devote time
Hobbies
Nowadays
Busy
Fast-paced
Lifestyles
Work and career
Technology
Digital entertainment
Limited
Free time
Lack of motivation
Mental wellbeing
Physical wellbeing
Decreased
Social interactions
Creativity
Self-expression
Negative effects
Society

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Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The Greeting

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, dogs or other pets as a member of family. In your opinion, are such relationship is good? why or why not use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

In the modern world, more and more young people tend to stay home and avoid going out for outdoor activities. There are many reasons for this. However, in the essay, I will mention two main reasons as well as two solutions to deal with the issue.