Many think that secondary and high school students should learn money management as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that starting from the middle school pupils should study fundamental
financy
. I strongly agree with Correct your spelling
finance
this
statement, hence
money
management it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
important
part of adulthood, and understanding of proper use of income would be beneficial for individuals.
Nowadays, people complete plenty of tasks that Add an article
an important
involves
Change the verb form
involve
money
transactions, therefore
it is necessary to have simple financial knowledge. For instance
, some people are addicted to loans and do not have any savings for the future. Furthermore
, those individuals are constantly in debt, they may even take credit to close the other one, creating by
Change preposition
apply
this
a loop. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, essential financy
is core knowledge for children and should be Correct your spelling
finance
tought
at schools.
Correct your spelling
taught
In addition
to the previous fact, education can also
bring economical
Replace the word
economic
benefit
. Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
For example
, nowadays it is a popular trend among south koreans
to invest, and almost everyone there Change the capitalization
Koreans
practice
Change the verb form
practices
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
working at full time
jobs. Add a hyphen
full-time
Therefore
, those individuals use their money
from salaries to bring more by trading. Moreover
, it is a key aspect of economical
success to understand that Replace the word
economic
money
should work on a person, not conversely
. However
, most adults hold their savings in deposit accounts. Consequently
, there is no growth and may be
even a decrease because of the inflation.
In conclusion, I personally strongly agree with Correct your spelling
maybe
this
the
statement, Correct article usage
apply
hence
it is important to give children education
that they can use every day in the future, to prevent financial problems, or to even double savings just by Add an article
an education
the education
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
the understanding
of
fundamental investment.Change preposition
apply
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Your essay follows a logical sequence which is good for coherence. To improve cohesion, consider more varied and sophisticated transition phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This will make the flow of your essay more seamless.
coherence cohesion
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