IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are two types of professionals based on how they choose places where they are going to
work
Use synonyms
 after
graduated
Change the form of the verb
graduating
show examples
 from their
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
. It is debatable whether they choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 where they got their degree or not. People are divided into two different sides of
this
Linking Words
 issue, the one who
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 it is a must to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 and the one who
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 it is their freedom to choose which
country
Use synonyms
 they want to
work
Use synonyms
 in.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
 and provide clear explanations why it is required for them to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they owe to the
country
Use synonyms
 where they pursue their degree, especially if they get a scholarship for that.
For instance
Linking Words
, governments who provide scholarships for medicine schools clearly want to escalate local health services quality by helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential doctor candidates
in studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 medicine. They have
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 a lot of money in order to establish great doctors who will be expected to cure the other citizens who
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 sick.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common sense that these doctors or professionals need to contribute back by working in that
country
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they tend to learn knowledge that
suit
Correct subject-verb agreement
suits
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 characteristics.
For example
Linking Words
, engineers who learn civil engineering in a
country
Use synonyms
 who prone to earthquakes will tend to learn how to build strong buildings that
safe
Add a missing verb
are safe
show examples
 from earthquakes.
Linking Words
While engineers
Correct word choice
Engineers
show examples
 who study in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cold territory will be capable
to build
Change preposition
of building
show examples
 buildings that
safe
Add a missing verb
are safe
show examples
 from winter storms.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the more suitable their knowledge
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 needs, the better and the more maximum they can utilize their skills. In conclusion, I believe that requiring professionals to stay and make use
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 understandings in the same place where they pursued them is a great policy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the benefits and positive effects both the
country
Use synonyms
 and the individuals will gain are much more. Because if they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not contribute back to their surroundings,
then
Linking Words
 their surroundings can not receive good impacts from them.

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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the prompt but leans heavily towards one viewpoint, slightly neglecting the discussion of the alternative perspective. To improve, ensure you discuss both sides of the argument equally and provide a balanced evaluation before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Though you've introduced and concluded your essay, the connection and transition between paragraphs could be enhanced. Try using linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas, such as 'on the other hand', 'in contrast', or 'moreover' to introduce different viewpoints or additional arguments.
coherence cohesion
To effectively support your main points, consider providing more varied examples and evidence. While the examples given are relevant, incorporating a broader range of evidence will strengthen your argument. This includes statistical data, case studies, or contrasting scenarios from different countries.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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