Some people think that success in life comes from hard-working and determination, while others think that there more important factors such as money or appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is believed that
people
who are hard-working and determined can achieve Use synonyms
success
in life, Use synonyms
while
others argue that money, emergence and other factors play a vital role. Linking Words
This
essay aims to discuss both sides and showcase the writer’s opinion that Linking Words
success
is a result of strong ambitions and efforts.
It should be admitted that financial status and appearance are vital Use synonyms
with
some jobs. Change preposition
in
For instance
, the airline industry’s priority is recruiting applicants who look attractive and have Linking Words
a
good physical health Remove the article
apply
or
the entertainment industry Correct word choice
while
prefer
to train beautiful talents Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
for becoming
professional singers or actors. Change preposition
to become
Additionally
, money is Linking Words
also
a regardable factor Linking Words
on
Change preposition
in
people
’s Use synonyms
success
as it can provide opportunities for employees studying at the most well-known university or looking for a job abroad. Use synonyms
However
, singers’ fans are ready to queue for a long time so as to Linking Words
listening
to magical melodies but not to enjoy the appearance because Change the form of the verb
listen
people
can go to fashion shows Use synonyms
instead
.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, key elements for achieving Linking Words
success
are making efforts and strong motivations. Perhaps the world would still be covered in Use synonyms
the
darkness when the Sun goes down if Edison chose to give up after having suffered from many failures. Another example is Amee, who is a famous Vietnamese singer, Correct article usage
apply
is
often celebrated for her hard-working years as a student. It is evident that determination and attempts can help Correct word choice
and is
people
get over many difficult situations, developing their own values and Use synonyms
finally
becoming successful.
In conclusion, Linking Words
despites
the importance of Correct your spelling
despite
the
beauty and money in many careers, the writer Correct article usage
apply
advocate
the idea that successful Change the verb form
advocates
people
are Use synonyms
who
never give up their dreams and always try to achieve them. Hard-working and determination have been approved as keys Correct determiner usage
those who
of
Change preposition
to
success
through various modelsUse synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear logical structure, separating paragraphs clearly and linking ideas within and between paragraphs. Using a variety of cohesive devices can help with this.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to directly address the prompt throughout the essay, and include a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. Support your points with specific, detailed examples.
task achievement
Work on refining your thesis statement in the introduction to more explicitly state your position and what the essay will discuss. This will guide the reader more clearly.
task achievement
Try to develop your conclusion further by summarizing both views alongside your opinion, reinforcing the reasoning behind your stance. This makes your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and inaccuracies in word choice that can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consistent proofreading can help mitigate these issues.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?