Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion ?
It is a belief that hard
working
and determination can contribute to success in Replace the word
work
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
whilist
others hold the Correct your spelling
whilst
reserve
Replace the word
reserved
view point
that there are other factors Correct your spelling
viewpoint
such
as money
and appearance.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favor
of hard Change the spelling
favour
work
and determination is that achievements at work
easily elevate one’s confidence since their abilities are recognized by companies. Therefore
, hardworking
and determination will provide individuals with goals to achieve which will lead to a sense of accomplishment. Correct word choice
hard work
Moreover
, when employees spontaneously set high standards at work
, they have higher potential than others to gain promotion which will lead to progress in their social economy status. Hence
hard work
and ambition will not make people improve and feel recognized in their careers.
At the end
of the spectrum, money
and appearance are vital to build up confidence and have a high quality of life
. Although
people usually say “ You cannot judge a book by It
cover”. It cannot be denied that Correct pronoun usage
Its
good looking
is able to make Add a hyphen
good-looking
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
feels
pleasant and enhance personal confidence. When it comes to Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
money
, it can be a dream life
when a person do
not need to worry about Change the verb form
does
money
. Money
provides individuals with life
possibilities as they have chances to choose the lifestyles they prefer.
Thus
the two factors can directly up lift
one self Correct your spelling
uplift
recognition
. In conclusion, Correct your spelling
self-recognition
incomes
and good Fix the agreement mistake
income
looking
are important elements to be successful only in specific cases Fix the agreement mistake
looks
while
on the other have
the hard effort and strong motivation to achieve high levels are the most important elements for success.Correct your spelling
hand
Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
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Introduction & Thesis clarity
In the introduction, you can provide a more concise explanation of both viewpoints before stating your thesis statement for clearer guidance on what the essay will discuss.
Paragraph structure
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For instance, discuss the importance of hard work and determination in one paragraph and money and appearance in another for greater clarity.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support your argument. For instance, you could include real-life success stories of individuals who achieved success through hard work and determination, and contrast these with examples where money and appearance played a crucial role.
Opinion Clarity & Consistency
While you've discussed both views, integrating a more explicit personal opinion throughout the essay before reinforcing it in the conclusion would improve your task achievement score. Your opinion should be clear and consistently supported throughout.
Conclusive Summary
Your concluding paragraph could be enhanced by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay before reiterating your final viewpoint. This ensures a coherent wrap-up of your argument.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve clarity. For instance, look out for run-on sentences, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of tenses. Frequent practice and review of grammar rules can be beneficial.
Transitional Phrases
Ensure a clearer distinction between contrasting viewpoints. Using explicit transition words or phrases like 'However,' 'On the other hand,' or 'Nevertheless' can help show opposition or contrast more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
