Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

There is a hole of elements that lead to success, it

also

depends on different views of

people

Although

Remove the comma

apply

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some might attribute it to devotion and determination, I believe that other factors

such

as money and good-looking play vital roles. On one hand,

people

who want to be successful often work very hard and always aim high. It is evident that

people

nowadays are evaluated via their education levels, students who want to achieve high qualifications and more accomplishments need to be more industrious and make an attempt to attain

such

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goals.

While

they will likely

Fix the infinitive

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succeed, there are other elements doomed to failure.

On the other hand

, other factors are

also

the main roles that contribute to one’s career. A financial background is appealing and it can be a great connection with job opportunities.

Additionally

, a good gleaming appearance can influence the first impression, leading to the chances of progressing in career and priority in some situations

such

as job interviews. The best example of

this

is that jobs related to communication and meeting

the

Correct article usage

apply

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partners always find

people

who

have good-looking

Verb problem

are looking

show examples

to represent

for

Change preposition

apply

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the company.

To sum up

, I believe that

besides

being conscientious and persevering, financial background and appearance are significant components of success.

Mon Mar 25 2024

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language

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that detract from the overall clarity of the essay. For example, 'hole of elements' should be 'whole range of elements,' and 'doomed to failure' could be rephrased for better clarity. Working on these minor grammatical issues will enhance your essay.

content

Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning well-known individuals who have succeeded due to their financial background or appearance could strengthen your argument.

structure

Improve logical flow between paragraphs by using transition words. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily and improve overall coherence.

structure

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which are vital components of a well-structured essay.

content

You addressed both views of the topic and provided your own opinion, which tackles the task requirements effectively.

content

The points you raised about the role of financial background and appearance are relevant and contribute to the overall argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

210 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product (such as a cell phone) or service (medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?