Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Whether achievements in life

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

created from industriousness and

will power

Correct your spelling

willpower

show examples

or financial background and impression is still a controversial discussion. I contend that resoluteness and sedulousness will make people successful in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

due to

Linking Words

self-improvement, despite those who believe that looks and wealth will lead them to success by fame. It must be acknowledged that individuals can change themselves positively by zeal and steadfastness.

In other words

Linking Words

, failures are unavoidable, but lessons can be learnt and the same mistakes

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not be made again.

For instance

Linking Words

, Thomas Alva Edison, in order to create a battery that can be used all by most cars over the world, had more than

over

Rephrase

apply

show examples

5000 attempts in 3

continous

Correct your spelling

continuous

nights to create the most possibly perfect battery.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if there's hard work and determination, there will be gain for those who try.

However

Linking Words

, some people believe that richness and mien would be the most preferable choice.

As they

Correct word choice

They

show examples

have shown that most

Correct your spelling

celebrities

celebreties

Add a verb

celebreties are

celebreties were

show examples

often successful

Change preposition

because of

show examples

the fame they

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

in the crowd

such

Linking Words

as Mr Beast on the YouTube platform.

This

Linking Words

point has credibility, yet in order to be famous as some people

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

looked up to, there is non-stop dedication that these individuals have

while

Linking Words

they could suffer a lot

Change preposition

from

show examples

critics and increasing demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

content.

As a result

Linking Words

, the person

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

is standing in the spotlight is the greatest version the crowd has ever seen.

Hence

Linking Words

, outward form and fortune might be vital, but intentness and toil are the factors needed to have in-life achievements. In conclusion, I believe that hard work and determination

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the prime

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

for success.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

should be encouraged to learn the true values of success.

[email protected]Mon Mar 25 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that logically progress from one to the other. Your essay does well in this regard; keep refining this skill to further enhance the clarity of your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. While your essay demonstrates good use of these, aiming for a wider variety can further bolster your writing's cohesion.

Task Achievement

Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or reasons. You've done this well, but continuing to develop each point with more detailed examples or explanations can make your argument more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Develop a clear position throughout the response, ensuring it responds directly to the essay question. Your essay shows a good understanding of this; continue to express your viewpoint clearly and consistently for stronger task achievement.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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You said you would attend your best friend's birthday party, but you did not go. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter apologise for not going explain why you were not there, say how you will make up for it.

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Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face.

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?