Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Sports
Use synonyms
is
great
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a great
show examples
thing to make
friendship
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friends
show examples
with other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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where all
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
come
accross
Correct your spelling
across
to cheer their respective nations. Some folks
thinks
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think
show examples
that
sports
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is
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are
show examples
best
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the best
show examples
way to promote
peace
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but others believe that there are different ways to promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace
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at international levels.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
sports
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teach
people
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to live
with
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in
show examples
peace
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because
due to
Linking Words
sportsmanship
people
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come close
each
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to each
show examples
other and they just play or watch rather
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
due any politics.
People
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learn the way of
etiquette
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the etiquette
show examples
of sportsmanship when they play against their
enemey
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enemy
enemies
country. Promoting on
Correct article usage
an internaltial
show examples
internaltial
Correct your spelling
international
level makes
strong
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a strong
show examples
bond
with
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between
show examples
two
nation
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nations
show examples
where they become friends.
For example
Linking Words
, more than 89 thousand
people
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attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
the cricket match between
Indian
Correct your spelling
India
show examples
and Pakistan in Australia in 2022. Both nations
people
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come
accross
Correct your spelling
across
and after results
people
Use synonyms
hugged each other and they forget that they are friend or enemy which lead the
peace
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in
world
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the world
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some folks
takes
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take
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantage of
this
Linking Words
and play dirty politics which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
direction and start to fight each other because on
international
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an international
the international
show examples
level they can promote easily any wrong slogans
on
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in
show examples
opposite
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the opposite
show examples
country where
people
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can start fighting with each other which disturb the
peace
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of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, promoting
sports
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at
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
level is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing to untie the
people
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and promoting harsh or wrong
slogan
Fix the agreement mistake
slogans
show examples
will lead
massive
Change preposition
to massive
show examples
war
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
.
Submitted by ranjot59 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position on the topic from the introduction through to the conclusion. Expand on your ideas more comprehensively by providing detailed examples and explanations that directly support your view. This approach helps in achieving complete and fully developed responses.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the organization of your essay. Introduce clear paragraphs for each main idea with topic sentences that outline the focus of the paragraph. Use transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly, helping the reader follow your argument more easily. This will make your essay more logically structured and cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • world peace
  • international sporting events
  • understanding
  • unity
  • cultural exchange
  • diplomacy
  • shared purpose
  • common goals
  • reduce tensions
  • conflicts
  • positive nationalism
  • fair play
  • sportsmanship
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • break down stereotypes
  • prejudice
  • dialogue
  • communication
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