IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Any attempt to preserve the natural world will hinder economic development. However, the benefits of helping the environment will always far outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

#attempt #world #development #environment
The merits of protecting
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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 environment
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
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industries which definitely
values
Correct subject-verb agreement
value
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 more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 demerits.
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, there is an opposition who thinks vice versa. I absolutely agree with the first mindset.
While
 there are some arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of blocking the financial systems by environmental
protecting
Replace the word
protection
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 acts, it is worth considering the potential harms
such
 actions could impose on essential services and everyday people's life.
For example
, increasing the cost of energy in order to minimize its consumption, can put
pressur
Correct your spelling
pressure
 on low-income families to do their fundamental daily activities
such
 as keeping their home temperature at
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 appropriate level.
However
, a strong sustainable environmental managing approach, not only can eliminate
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 and worrying side effects of
eccofriendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
ecofriendly
policie
Correct your spelling
policies
police
policy
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but has its own benefits which are worth time, money and any
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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spending
Wrong verb form
spent
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 on their
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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. On the other side,the existence of absolute positive impacts of environmentally friendly practices on industry is undeniably true.
This
 means that by taking any protective measures to prevent pollution and contaminating the natural resources, we are in fact
save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 the cash cows which are the moving power for any industrial field. Water reservoirs
is
Change the verb form
are
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 revealed to give an example, which can be used as
renewable
Add an article
a renewable
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 source of energy to produce electricity.
Additionally
 can be supplied as drinkable water.
Moreover
, by less
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 of these resources
such
 as water, oil, and other resources we can save the natural capital
of
Change preposition
apply
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being wasted on importing them and later
this
 saved
cashflow
Correct your spelling
cash flow
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 which can be invested
on
Change preposition
in
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other segment
Change the wording
another segment
other segments
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 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 including ecotourism, which is one of the most proven political plans to foster the national and global economies. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
by
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apply
show examples
detecting and running supportive
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 programs, performing and investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
protectional
Correct your spelling
protection
 activities on nature and raw materials
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can
finally
 strengthen the
manetary
Correct your spelling
monetary
 systems
in addition
 to
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
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 the planet safe and clean for its present and future inhabitants.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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task response
Be sure to directly address the essay prompt in your introduction and conclusion. State clearly whether you agree or disagree with the statement and why.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by making your paragraphs flow more naturally. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task response
Support your main points with detailed examples. Whenever you make a claim, back it up with specific evidence or examples that strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Review your essay for any grammar or spelling errors, as these can distract from your argument and reduce the clarity of your ideas.
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